i need a break

(photo from bncxe. thanks sir Dimension!)

realizations lately

1. no matter what promises people make you they dont keep to it in time to come.
2. love only exists to people who have a heart.
3. it really is hard to practice what one preaches.
4. no matter how much you try to trust a guy, he'll surely lie.
4. everyone you care about changes and they will never go back to the way they were so you have to live with it.
5. be strong coz no one is going to be there when you fall.

is this a sign?

a brown moth has been in the house for four days now. no matter how i try to drive it away, it comes back and occupies the same spot every time.
my aunt tells me the moth wants to tell me something. well then, what is it?



help, anyone?

Facebook says I know 500+ people but I am still profoundly lonely.
so many things are happening and yet i cannot see any difference.
i have so much to say and yet my heart isn't into writing them down yet (hence, the pics posts lately)
i should be happy but i can't.

tubungan church

i wanna go somewhere

sometimes i wonder if my time at work is up. i used to love my job to death and now i feel as if it doesn't love me back anymore.

sometimes i feel that i can't connect with my brother. i don't feel the love. i feel that he intentionally blocks me out of his system. he's supposed to be my ally and yet there are times when i just wanna scream at him to make him pay attention to me.

sometimes i wonder if i made the right decisions throughout these years.

sometimes i wonder if my friends are right about things i thought they're wrong about.

i want to get away. i want to fly away. (yeah, yeah, yeah)

when i see people do the things they do, i sometimes stop and wonder if what i'm doing is actually the right thing

is this for real?

thanks a lot, Mercury retrograde!

the pc crashed. therefore I am sending it, along with all my files (thesis kooooo!!!! leche!). I am praying i can get some files back.

add to that my almost two weeks-long (so far) cough/flu, and the gazillion and one errands I still have to do by weekend, and I am just not a happy camper. 2010, I’m not quite sure this is the proper way to make friends. I’m beginning to think I won’t like you very much.

=(

for 2010

Of course New Year's resolutions don't really work out, just the same I want to try and improve myself each year.

I want to clean my room, lessen the junk. And then I’ll start on the whole house. I am a pack rat and I hope I can get rid of that this year so tatay will be happy happy. Haha.
I want to lessen my procrastinating.
I want to travel more.
I wanna see more plays, maybe even concerts.
I want to read more books. I still have some untouched books and still have a lot that I wanna read.
I wanna write more. I wanna write better.
I want to make new friends and catch up with old ones.
I want to go back to playing the violin.
I want to transfer all my CDs to iTunes. Naku, help me Lord.
I want to take better care of my car.
I want to give up Coke (the regular one) and all sweet drinks and pork.
I want to sleep “on time” and wake up refreshed.
I want to spend less time online.
I want to have more dinner and movie dates with my brother (I hope this is also on his list).
I want to face my fears.
I want to save more, even earn more (a “raket” perhaps?)
I want to do more volunteer work.
I want to eat normal stuff and less junk.
I want to eat more fruits.
I want to start liking (eventually loving) vegetables.
I want to exercise more (this will need a lot of power to do…haha) and eventually get to a healthier weight.
I want to stop buying junk.
I want to find better shoes and clothes and bags.

That said, I will now start my prayers.
I want to be a better person, so help me God.