today

when i woke up early this morning, i realized i lost my voice. every word that comes out doesn't sound right. i tried to remedy it - gargle, 4 strepsils lozenges, hot soup, taho (yeah...my tummy is gonna complain in a lil while) but nothing seems to work. it was so frustrating. when i left home, i was still sucking on a strepsils and i even dropped by a fast food store to take away some more hot soup. but nothing worked. i felt so bad. i have two lectures this morning and i was looking forward to them, after not being with my students last meeting. it's just sad. my day was just starting, and this??

 

i just had my first period class and all i can muster was a hoarse "good morning" which elicited different reactions from my students, the consensus which was "ma'am you just have to be quiet. maybe you need this time to be silent."

 

so i just left them with something to work on (which is what i will be doing for my 1030 class..i have no choice but to choose to accept my limitation for today and that means i really cannot hold classes) and went to the chapel for my daily visit. while there, i reflected on what my students said..."maybe you need this time to be silent".

 

i have a lot on my mind these days...this whole month, in fact. i was busy with work. with family. with friends. i had a lot of things to do. i had a lot of places to go to. a lot of meetings and conferences and seminars i needed to be at. a lot of dinners and parties and get togethers. i talked a lot. i moved a lot. a lot. just a lot.

and i know why i did and am still doing everything. i know why i get myself so busy. it's because i am scared of something. esp this one big fear that is taking place right now, this last day of January. this reason why i have sleepless and/or restless nights. i remember my best friend telling me he works so he could forget everything else. and that is what i am trying to do. i wanted to be busy so i could push the scary, ugly, heartbreaking thoughts away. not that the things i did didn's give me happy vibes, they did. i am thankful coz they did give me a sense of happiness/belongingness/etc at that exact point. they just weren't enough to keep the fears away, though.

so maybe they're right. maybe i do need to be silent. be quiet. even for just this day.



 

 while lighting candles in the chapel, i chanced upon this verse at the foot of one of the candelabras:

“Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!” - Psalm 46:10

I have faith in God and in the wonderful people he sent my way. in this wonderful person He gave me. I have faith things will fall into place. I hope that day comes soon.

i know who my soul mate is.

and i love my soul mate so much.

how about you?

Gasakit lang gid corazon ko manumdom samg mga pwede matabo.
Nakulbaan gid ako.
Wala pa gid ko kaagi sang amo ni nga gnabatyag...nga gusto-gusto ko gid katam-an.


Lord, tani pareho ang plano mo sa mga plano ko.
Sa mga plano namon.

Amen.

Kasadyahan 2013

 

  

   

  

 

a little while ago

Republiq @ Flow

i wasn't planning on going but i decided i needed to distract my thoughts. it was a great party, and friends were there. so all in all, not a bad decision.

and now...off to cry myself to sleep.

Dinagyang

it's on!!!

 

Hala bira, Iloilo!

130 pa lang, stress drilon with pagoda cold wave lotion na akes!

on another note...

      

why can't i get you off my mind??????

thankful

I just received lots of ebooks for my kindle! yaaaaaaaaaaaay! another thing ticked off my list!

the Universe has been listening to me.

now, can we please get THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT thing done already? universe, help!!

Dear self,

let's start with that "treating ourselves" thing.

so today....

..started using the mascara that came with the Womanity set. i love it! i am not a big fan of mascaras (coz my lashes are awesome as they are) but this one is really right for me.

...went to school and work was toxic. meetings, deadlines, lots of stuff to do pronto!

by the end of the day, my head was ready to split in pieces. I was ready to go home when I realized I needed to pay for my plane tickets (for my bday trtip to lalabs), so I went to the mall and treated myself to

fro-yo yum

and

yes...shoes! not exactly the ones i'm pining for but still...that's one off the list.

just before I got home, i got a text message to take a look at the moon. as soon as i got out of the car, i took a pic. this was what i saw.

dinner was tatay-cooked so my day did end well.

On a side note:

A friend commented on my previous post , "you're not really treating yourself coz those thigs are things you NEED, not WANT. treating yourself means you get something fancy - something you will not normally buy or do. so yes, it's not treating yourself. you better think again, girl"

HAHAHAHAHA. i soooooo love my friends!!

i will get there. i know i will. it's just that thinking about wants - unneccessary stuff for myself- is hard. really.  but this is a start, yes?

Goodnight, everyone. May we all have a less toxic day tomorrow.

((grouphuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuug))

Dear Self

the wise man (let's call him t.v.) is right. we should treat us to something nice coz we deserve it (really now? but what about _____? and ______? and ______, ____, ____, etc?).

i know i just want one big thing: PROGRESS.
next will be lots of trips to be with the people i love.

hmmmmmmmmmm...

ok..so i think i want these:
 a shuffle or that small nano.
need it for jogging/running (cge cge, fast walk na gani!)
 

a manduka pro-lite mat and a nice mat bag to go with it!




kundalini yoga mat towel. palms can get really sweaty so this is on the list too!

 eboooooooooooooks for my love love loooooove kindle!! (i'm thinking about that ipad-in-exchange-for-kindle offer though....it's too tempting...BUT the kindle's the FIRST gift i received!!! it has a lot of sentimental value)



powerbank for the bb and samsung and kindle. bb needs it most.

    

shoes!!!!!!!!!! (lolo manolo's sketches are winner, no?)



some (or a whole lotta) spa-mpeirng!!

wow...that took a lot of time thinking.

ok, self...let's make this work.

1 Corinthians 13 (The Message)

If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. If I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, “Jump,” and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing. If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut, doesn’t have a swelled head,
doesn’t force itself on others,
isn’t always “me first,” doesn’t fly off the handle,
doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
doesn’t revel when others grovel,
takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
puts up with anything,
trusts God always,
always looks for the best,
never looks back, but keeps going to the end.

Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled. When I was an infant at my mother’s breast, I gurgled and cooed like any infant. When I grew up, I left those infant ways for good. We don’t yet see things clearly. We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us! But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.

What you need to find is someone who never will let you go.

Lyrics | Greyson Chance lyrics - Sunshine And City Lights lyrics

first few days of the year and yet...

ngaa indi gid makakas ang kulba ko?
it's such a so near yet so far moment.
it's real and yet it's not.
it feels right but it's wrong.
it's being happy and carefree and yet deep down it scares the bejeezus out of you.

i just feel so sad right now.

aga pa

I might not be someone's first choice, but i am a great choice.. I may not be rich but i am valuable.. I dont pretend to be someone im not, becuase im good at being me.. I might not be proud of some of the things i've done in the past, but i am proud of who i am today.. I may not be perfect but i dont need to be.
Take me as i am, or watch me as i walk away.

hmmmmmm.....

“At what point does a fly give up trying to escape through a closed window–do its survival instincts keep it going until it is physically capable of no more,or does it eventually learn after one crash too many that there is no way out?
At what point do you decide that enough is enough?”
― Tabitha Suzuma, Forbidden

my weekend in pictures

yesterday...

early morning panic attack. my cousin was brought to the hospital.

had some spampering time in the afternoon to get some of the stress off

and met up with childhood friends for dinner. after which Sarah a.k.a. "Carol"treated everyone to coffee and desserts where i was able to complete my card to get my planner and pen. yay!

today 

baby tisay - lilly andrea

she's my college friend, niezel's, first baby. it's her baptism today. i was ninang. i just met her today, too! and they're leaving for the states in two days. i'm gonna miss her growing up days but her mom promised skype dates for us.

her souvenir and the cupcake i nicked before they were distributed to the guests

dad and i went to church and got some groceries. i asked him to get me these mags

which go well with my 

the past week went by in a blur-with all the work and the news that came my way.

here's hoping for a better week ahead. 

cheers!

Dear life...

                 Let's slow dance.  

january 2

the past is past. we learn. we let go.
we move on.

so......

Opportunities come and go. Make the right choice. Go get 'em!