gani man

 

If he loved me, he would not have let me bawl my eyes out for hours.

sometimes it's just too hard

And if they are sorry? Well, by all means, forgive them. 

Never withhold what you have no right keeping anyway.

‎"When you follow your heart and intuition, people won’t always agree with you. When you find something that makes you happy, not everyone will be happy for you. When you show unwavering kindness to others, some people will question your motives. When you are honest to the core, some folks will attempt to use your honesty against you. When you look for the best in everyone you meet, a few of them will take advantage of it.

Don’t let any of these people stop you from doing these things. These people don’t matter. In the end, what does matter is how you feel about yourself and the life you have led." ♥

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i am following my heart and it has been a rollercoaster ride. i have never felt so happy and yet it makes me so very sad too. and it hurts so much. 

why can't it be just HAPPY?
why do i have to be hurt?

can i ever get what my heart so badly wants?

so...how was your weekend?

 

me? i attended a Prom, had thesis defense, had another event in school. and oh, this too:

 

 

 

 

Carrots, Eggs, or Coffee. Which are you?

(this is an email i got a little while ago..thought i might share it with you)


A young woman went to her grandmother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved a new one arose.

Her grandmother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water. In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs and the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her granddaughter, she asked, "Tell me what do you see?"

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.

She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they got soft.She then asked her to take an egg and break it.

After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg.

Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. The granddaughter smiled, as she tasted its rich aroma. The granddaughter then asked. "What's the point,grandmother?"

Her grandmother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity--boiling water--but each reacted differently.

The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.

The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her granddaughter.

"When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?"

Think of this: Which am I?

Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff?

Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.

When the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate to another level?

---AUTHOR UNKNOWN —

it is so sad to wake up to news of someone leaving us.

g'bye bel

When you are too busy taking care of other people and a whole lotta other things, there will come a point in time that you will ask - " WHO IS TAKING CARE OF ME?".

oh...wow.

 

thank you!

today

woke up really early so i could be in school at least an hour before my exam. i decided to get myself breakfast on the way.

when i got to school, the guard won't let me in coz my car didn't have the latest sticker. i tried to charm my way in but manong guard just won't budge. defeated, i parked outside the school and walked my way inside the university.

and then...

jollibee, you owe me one sausage!

needless to say, a lot went wrong this day. it was so frustrating!

so what to do?

light a candle. or candles.

and pray. 

prayers and happy thoughts. what i mostly need to get through days like this.

ended the day with yoga, a little birthday gathering with some family and close friends, and some reports i just finished + emails answered.

g'nyt friends. may we have a better day tomorrow.

cracked

I try to believe…that God doesn't give your more than one little piece of the story at once. You know, the story of your life. Otherwise your heart would crack wider than you could handle. He only cracks it enough so you can still walk, like someone wearing a cast. But you’ve still got a crack running up your side, big enough for a sapling to grow out of. Only no one sees it. Nobody sees it. Everybody thinks you’re one whole piece, and so they treat you maybe not so gentle as they would if they could see that crack.

- Vivi Walker 
(Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood by Rebecca Wells)

because i'm corny like that

I'm not a big valentines day girl. I've always believed that valentines day should be every day. There should be no wasting of time and effort in making sure your luvee knows you love him/her.

Buuuuuuuuuuut (yes, i am contradicting myself) these won't hurt too!

i like roses but only if they're arranged in special ways like this.

TULIPS! i likey!!

I've been looking for Alpine White chocolate these past years but Royce will always be appreciated.


and a love letter. a handwritten one.

what i really really want is lots of time together. or if the universe hears me enough, together for good. for real. rightfully. i just can't wait. pray for me, friends?

Advance happy valentine's day!

someone asked me if i would like to delete past memories...

And have them repeat again in some form or other? No, thanks. I’d rather keep both eyes, ears open. Whole heart and spirit vulnerable and sensitive, able to look back at what was, celebrate what was wonderful, learn from the terrible and hopefully become wiser for tomorrow and present for today. I don’t want to pretend none of it happened. The battle scars can’t be denied after all. But no one has the right to make me suffer for them.

No one, not even myself.

home is where the heart is

((insert long sigh here))

for CJ

saturday

wow. i have never been this tired before. this is just metally and physically draining.
but i didn't regret going out.

and wow.....
was that an answer to my prayers?

My prayer for February

Faith allows things to happen.

It is the power that comes from a fearless heart.

And when a fearless heart believes, miracles happen.
 

 

Please help me Lord. In times where I feel hopeless, help me hold on to that which is true: LOVE. 

 Keep me fearless, especially at times when I don't know how to deal with all the fears and frustrations that come my way. The past year have been full of that. Full of uncertainties. 

I  have faith in you. I have faith in the people around me.

I believe. I know miracles will happen.