Dear You,
I wish you were a family member, a friend, a co-worker, or even someone I don't particularly like. I'd talk to you and straighten things out. I might not have the guts to do so, but at least the option to try would always be there.
Yet you aren't any of them. You aren't like anyone I know, come to think of it.
You aren't capable of empathy, or at the least, sympathy.
You strike when I'm particularly vulnerable.
You have a penchant for catching me off-guard.
You know just what buttons to push to make me question and get hurt.
Disappointment, I wish I never met you.
You are many things and you make your rounds in many ways. Every now and then, you are thoughts that creep into my head -- What If's, Things That Could Have Been. you are the strength that gives my fears the power to hurt me badly like they are doing now. you are the "so near and yet so far".You are failure and you are fault. You are insecurity and you are insensitivity. You are uncontrollable and most of the time, you are unfathomable.
You make me want to eat Lays bag after bag and consume ten million calories in one night. Or grab the nearest friend i have and talk his/her ear's off, even if he/she isn't ready to hear me out. Or write until my hand feels paralyzed. Or pray until it feels like minutes have turned into hours.
Please stay far away from me. If you can't do that, just don't come visit very often.
Sincerely,
Me
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