first friday

Sometimes I get scared and I doubt things going on in my life. My cousin told me that I should be thankful for these things....and I am - really really am, but maybe because I've been burned before that every time something goes right and I feel so happy, I get scared that it might be taken away from me. I honestly can't afford to have my heart broken again. I know that's stupid because I should have just kept my walls up, hid behind those walls and locked myself up but it's too late now. I made a decision, never will regret it. And I am liking where I am and where I am going (hopefully sooooooooooon).
Right now I am happy. Right now I find myself wanting something so much that it scares me I can't even breath at times.
Early today I went to church to light my daily candles and to go to mass seeing that it's the first Friday of the month. Today was St. Maria Goretti's feast day. Maria Goretti is an Italian Saint whose power of forgiveness and purity is a model for all young people.  The priest's sermon was about love and acceptance. He said something like:
"Love is a feeling transpired from the heart. Love cannot be thoroughly describe nor can it be defined by anyone. Not even the most intelligent or the wisest people can tell you what love is for love is something you need to experience yourself to know exactly how it feels. You need to experience the swelling of your heart when you see that other person. You need to experience the butterflies inside.
Love is about acceptance and therefore, the person who loves you most should accept you for who you are. However, love is also about compromise, which means you wont mind changing for a better self in order to coexist in a relationship. Love, real love, really is all about compromising and meeting the other person half-way. Its a lot easier to do for the sake of someone who means the world to you."

I've always said that there are no coincidences and today's sermon was another proof of that. I was thinking twice about not going to that early mass because I had something else to do but I decided to go because it felt right and the sermon was what I needed. it eased my worries a bit.


Today I am thankful for my happiness and everything that goes with it. I pray this happiness will be something that will really last.