attended my little sister's school activity this morning. it was in my mom's school and i had lots of memories of that place. then i had lunch with a friend. so many things we discussed, so many things she shared. and then i shared some too. well, mostly i shared my fears.  it's scary to want something so bad knowing that i am not the only one involved in that something. tomorrow i'm gonna find out if one of my biggest fears will come to an end. i prayed for it. whatever happens, i'm ready.

 

 

 

 

saturday

saw an old close friend today.

i called his name and said hi, gave him my biggest smile - my hey-it's-been-two-years-since-that-day-we-got-screwed-by-her-and-i-wanna-be-friends-with-you-again smile (with matching wave pa).

he just nodded.
wow. that hurt.

i should have known better than to expect a "hey, wanna have coffee and catch up with each other?/"wanna hang out?". i should have just pretended i didn't see my friend. but then again, i always thought that true friendships can overcome hurts, especially those not caused by either one of the parties.

people can really be hurtful.and no matter how hard i try to not get affected, i can't. i feel the pain. (and those that hurt most are from that person you give your whole heart to)
and sometimes, i wonder if i will stop hurting. if i will get what i want. if things will really really be okay.

 

hoooooooookey ah

happy thought for this stress-full day

 it's that time of the year again to start wrapping gifts!! i haven't started yet but i look forward to it. i can't wait to see my loved ones faces when they open their gifts! wheeee!

too pissed and too tired.

bwas, matapos ko gd ni ang gusto ko ipost.

people. reasons.

had a difficult troubled weekend and this was posted on my wall by a very good friend earlier this afternoon. i was having a mini-breakdown when he saw me online and we started talking. he's telling me how i changed his life  and though i am flattered, i am not taking credit for it. we talked for quite some time and then i decided to take the post off my wall coz it made me cry.

i've been crying a lot these days...no, months. i've never cried so much and i know it's because i also have never wanted anything so much in my life. it's too near yet too far.

anyhoo, driving back home, i thought about the people i met and just met and re-met. i can guess the reasons why i met some of them but somehow i can't see why others are in my life or have been in my life. and then there are a  very select few who i am sure of why they were sent my way.

when i got home, i looked through my albums. i see these people. some left. some outgrew our friendship. others i didn't see for a long time came back. a few stuck til this day.
and one who i never thought could be the reason why i can't wait for my life's chapter to change soon.

people. reasons.
the universe really works in mysterious ways.


 

...because I spent my weekend being sick

  "It's not enough to believe!" Sadie's voice is suddenly passionate, almost savage. "Don't you see that, you stupid girl?  You could spend your whole life hoping and believing! If a love affair is one-sided, then it's only ever a question, never an answer. You can't live your life waiting for an answer."

-----

- loooooooooooooooooong sigh -

please tell me the hoping and believing are not in vain. that everything will be put in their rightful places soon-est. hambal gani ni annie lennox sa iya kanta (nga gnakanta mo man kg pirme gatukar sa balay) "i don't wanna wait in vain for you love"

sweet but sad

http://youtu.be/R7Gf2SOmz5Q

The room's hush hush and now's our moment
Take it in, feel it all and hold it
Eyes on you, eyes on me we're doing this right

Do you hear that love? They're playing our song
Do you think we're ready? Oh, I'm really feeling it
Do you hear that love? Do you hear that love?

trust tatay to brighten my day

today was another looooooooooooong day. it started with lots of paperwork, a class and a seminar on biotechnology. after the seminar, i went back to school and worked til early evening. i thought my dad was out so i sms him saying i'd be going home ahead of him coz my day was just so tiring and it had lots of not-so-good moments. turns out he was at home and so i decided to drop by my favorite dessert place to get us some sweets. i was about to drive home when my friend had an car emergency, so i went and helped but unfortunately, her car had to be left at the shop.

when i got home, tatay already put up the tree

*it isn't done yet...it isn't even 'poufed' enough

made yummy yummy panyapon

(i didn't get any pics...was too hungry and ate everything justlikethat)

aaaaaaaaand

i finally got a parol!

i love my tatay.

someday, my kids will be just as loved and spoiled by him (and their daddy too).

A-Z of me

i met up with two of my closest friends this evening and we did some reminiscing. one of the thigns we were able to talk about was the "notes" in fb that you have to tag others so they'll write their own version.
Just a while ago, i was browing through my fb and saw said notes. This is the first among many, posted in 2009. I had quite a laugh reading it and then some LBMs (light bulb moment) too. here goes...

A - Age: it ain't nothin' but a number *hahahaah
B - Bed size: double
C - Chore you hate: cleaning my room
D - Dog's name: Bronx
E - Essential start to your day item: alarm clock sa phone
F - Favourite colour: black
G - Gold or Silver or Platinum: platinum
H - Height: 5'1"
I - Instruments you play: violin
J - Job title: teacher
K - Kid(s): someday...i want twins! girls! and a boy, too! (i've always wanted twins)
L - Living arrangements: with my two boys
M - Mom's name: Mime
N - Nicknames: Tata
O - Overnight hospital stay other than birth: minor surgery
P - Pet Peeves: not keeping promises; lying bastards
Q- Quote from a movie: Your scent is like a drug. Like my own personal heroin. =) *i just saw the movie, it's what stuck in my head right now
R - Right or left handed: right
S - Siblings: 1
T - Time you wake up: 630am
U- Underwear: essential!
V - Vegetable you dislike: most of them...i just like squash and potato
W - Why you run late: so little time so much to do
X - X-rays you've had: chest, head, teeth
Y - Yummy food you make: pasta; sud-an
Z - Zoo favourite: arapayma

loooooooong day

Sometimes the prettiest smiles hide the deepest secrets. The prettiest eyes have cried the most tears and the kindest hearts have felt the most pain.

because i am too tired to kumod

g'night friends!

see you soon!

today

went out early for some exercise

met up with special people for coffee and the monthy pow-wow at our guy's place.

heard a lot, both good and bad. my chest started to tighten.

i needed to think so i decided to get some me time and drove to the beach for lunch.... 

...and some more thinking.

i better brace myself for the days ahead.

hey

or better yet, show me AND tell me.

everyday.

what happened today

Knowing they aren't coming back doesn't mean you ever stop waiting or thinking of them. 

Remembering the dead. Today more than usual.