today

...i helped dad fix my car (i got into a little accident last thursday afternoon) from this

to this

it took a lot of hammering and gluing (i dunno the exact word)

...i hurt someone i love. i got this person angry at me and i just feel absolutely awful about it. i have been apologizing and i even wrote something but my apologies were not accepted. i know i'm at fault. i had the best intentions but it was not the right thing to do.

...i went to church to light candles and pray. yesterday i asked God to stop the bad dreams and they did. sadly, one of those bad dreams - one thing i am scared of: making this person mad at me - happened. so i prayed again. for this person. for the bad dreams to stop and for them to not happen. and i prayed for guidance and strength. and love. for what's best for everyone.

...just before i was about to go home, i got a message from a friend and i decided to meet up with her for coffee. we talked about common friends and we talked about how she has been since i last saw her. at first, i was not really into wanting to meet up with her because i was feeling really bad and i didn't want my nega-vibes on her but i know made a good decision because i learned something during our conversation. i believe there are no coincidences and that things happen for a reason so i know that conversation was bound to happen.

..and now i still feel awful. i've never felt this bad - this sad - in such a long time. and i am tired. tired of thinking things over and over again.

i hope tomorrow will be a better day.