word number 2

i already talked about my first word for 2011. now let me tell you about my second word: LOSS.

this year had me losing things (my phone and my money among others) and people (some are in heaven now, some i decided to lose, some decided to just cut off our ties) and with each loss, it felt like a punch in the face and i was left to stare blankly at it in bewilderment.

Loss puts me in an undesirable position: a vulnerable one.
With each loss, questions like these pop in my head:
why me?
why that?
didn't our friendship count?
will i be losing more?
how long will this "malas" last?

i chanced upon a blog that spoke of a principle of loss stating that "no matter who you are, at some points in your life, you WILL lose something of great value and worth to you. it is inevitable".

So i thought about that and then i realized that sometimes, loss is necessary. True, I lost a lot but in as much as it hurt so bad and i almost gave up on myself (i realized that this year had me blaming and second-guessing myself a lot), I realized that the even greater party known as Life was still on-going and I did not want to miss out on what could be for what once was.

Losing - things, but most especially people - scares me (my word number 1 is just so powerful. i need better resolve to overcome it) but then again, I guess loss shows us what truly matters, what is essential once we’ve been stripped bare, and in that truth there is healing, peace and most wonderfully, new beginnings.

I remember a priest friend telling me this when I told him about losing my money and one of my good friends: "God will never give you something you can't bear. I hope your loss will not stop you from living in the present. You still have so much to be thankful for. It's normal to get hurt but I am sure something better will happen to you.Losing something or someone allows you to change - stronger, angrier, bitter, better. It's up to you. Have faith because God will replace your loss with greater things. You will see in time that with loss comes love."

Loss. It sucks. I am still not good at dealing with it but with the losses I've had, I realized and have proven this to be true: Loss gives us something better than we expected to have.