Sunday, November 2, 2008

that's when i started this blog with this post. and that month of november had me spewing a lot of these verbal diarrhea.

i started this blog as a place to vent out how i was feeling that time. i was fresh from a breakup

and i had a very hard time with it.


i've long wanted to start one but i had a lot of excuses...until nov 2. i decided to finally start a blog.

and wow...3 years had passed.

i read my blog posts over the years and it was a riot. surely, time has served me well.

so what happened?

i learned how to be strong by myself...again.

i have my friends but i decided to just face the situation on my own at first. it took me a few months to finally talk to my family and friends about what happened and in hindsight, i realized that was surely one of the better decisions i made.
(from my personal journal, ".....I realized I lost so much of me in you even though I promised I wouldn’t...)

i took some time to be quiet

When all is quiet, you can really hear the voice of your heart.

and when i finally told my family and friends, i was not such a mess anymore and i even enjoyed their "autopsies" of my dead relationship.


after some months, i finally was able to let go. i was able to find myself again and grasp her.

after i let go, things got brighter for me

i started a new chapter.
hambal gani sang semi-sonic,

every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end

i was able to get to know myself a little better.
i as able to do things i thought i couldn't.
i was able to grow up a bit.
i was able to learn to love myself. i was able to find what's lovable in me.

i took my time to just be me, just be my myself.

i took time to get to know other people. i made a lot of new acquaintances, some even turned out to be friends, and yes, i even dated but i kept this in mind

(something manang always told me everytime i tell her about a date i had..hahaha)

Life is so random and it seems to me that the chances of finding people who will gladly do life with you are very slim.

i had a lot of lonely moments and i must admit i am scared of being alone for the rest of my life but taking my time made me understand more what my mom says: everything happens for a reason. it made me see that when God takes away something from my hand, He is not punishing me, but He is merely emptying my hand for me to receive something better, even the best for me.

and after all these years, after keeping my heart safe in a tightly-closed box, i am ready


and not just for love but for everything life will send my way.


three years since i started this blog. it was a roller-coaster of emotions. it was a long journey.
from a blog of a broken girl who whined about her heartaches, this blog turned to be that of a girl who celebrates her everyday life and all the small things that make it rich and beautiful and unique.

now i'm ready to write about the things that will come my way.
i am a work in progress. i know there will still be a loooooot that will come my way.
i am scared. there are a lot of fears in me.
i will need help.

but i am ready. i choose to live. i choose to be ready.

happy third year, dear blog! *kiss*kiss*hug*hug*