I have stopped writing since august 2014. It’s not that I had nothing to write. It’s that I had nothing good to write. I felt as if my world was being torn apart. Things that happened along the way made me question my values, my principles, and the people around me.
I am not perfect. I will never be perfect. But I have a set of principles that I stand by and things happening in my life made me question these principles; made me look into who I really am, what I really want, what I am willing to sacrifice.
I got lost. Am still lost-ish.
I have never felt so small – so uncapable – in my life. Everything I do, it’s just not enough. It’s always not enough. I was told that I do not do my job well, that I always leave problems behind, that I am not a good worker.
I was asked to agree to dealings that are against my principles, and when I said no, I was told that I am not doing a good job.
I was told I was not enough.
I was made to feel I will never be enough.
It was a miserable time for me.
But now, I am picking up the pieces together. This will take a lot of time, I know, but I will write again.