Wednesday, December 31, 2008

enjoying the ride

another list =)

2008 had been a roller-coaster ride for me and so this list is about the reasons why despite the ups and many many downs, i still enjoyed the ride:

my dad and my brother
--> of course they come first! for the support. for not saying "i-told you so", for the movie dates, the dinner dates, the road trips. for the fights, the tampuhans, the everything.

my friends:
N for the wonderful friendship. who knew that the girl i thought was suplada would be one of my "bests" after all these years.
for saying "i told you so". hahaha. for making me understand what needs to be understood. for that awesome blog (too bad it's set on private). for always being there. you know "thank you" will never enough for everything =)

Zsa for telling me as it is. for not spilling what happened during the drinking session. hahaha..for the patience...for the awesome friendship since we first met at 1-molave. and props to dandan too, my drinking buddy. basta volunteer ako bridesmaid/secondary sponsor sa kasal nyo! wheeee!

Ez for reconnecting after a looooong time. Am so glad we finally cought up with each other. Hopefully we'll get to spend more time together this summer. And thanks for the wonderful gift!

Mahrn, Sha, Franz, Dyan and Pitaw for the bonding moments and all the inputs (you know what I mean) hahaha.

Maj and Gayle and Rhea for the support despite the distance. We miss you here in Iloilo! FFAI!

Ketch. you're super mommy now but you'll always be my sunday churchmate along with N. you never fail to take care of me when i visit you and your little haciendero. it's as if we just saw each other the day before. we may not be in touch that much but i know that you're always there for me. and i'll always be here for you too.

my MS powderpuff girls madam, ching, mam kit, jaq (and yes, you too tootxing) for the happy MS moments. here's wishing we could all graduate in time! hahaha

my girls mams dindin, zesil and rosa, mommies hya, nancy and aneline for being wonderful friends and mentors. you are strong women and i could only hope to have even half of your strength.

the PYOers for the friendship since we were this small. come home already guys and gals...we need a reunion!

my titas/titos/cousins for the L-O-V-E. thanks for the ym chat sessions, the fb/fs events (you know what that is!), the calls, the pasalubongs (wheee!!!) everything!!!

my wonderful hinablos just for being their cute cuddly selves.

the friendly people around who make life a bit easier.

my five loyal followers: aylabsyu!!!

and lastly these people:

and all my other "classmates":

thank you so much for sharing the year with me. thank you for giving me the reason to still stay despite all the heartaches and the problems and the stress. i am not just teaching you. i learn a lot from you too. it has always been a two-way street. thank you so much. i look forward to another fruitful year with all of you.

so there's another list. i'm still thinking of what list to make next. LOL =)

the OC strikes

I love makings lists. That makes me quite OC but I enjoy listing stuff. So before the year ends, let me share with you some of my lists for the year.

My Music List

2008 was a great year for OPM - there were a lot of great albums, awesome videos, and yes, even reunions. Those that made my list (in no particular order) are:

X Marks the Spot by Sandwich
--> I love Sandwich. From angular rock (“Procrastinator”) to a modernized tribute to Pinoy music (“Betamax”) to an alt-rock take on slick modern R & B (“Text in the City”, this album is certainly one of the bests this year.

I am torn between betamax and procrastinator for my fave sandwich video though.

chech out the videos here: procrastinator betamax

Taken by Cars
--> I love it that their sound is different from what is normally played on the radio. This is Bloc Party that's high on estrogen =)

a little trivia: Mong (that long-hair dude of Sandwich) produced their album

I feel the time has come to play
I see you look my way
my mind's filled with cruel intentions
I'm wanting your affection

Tomorrow Becomes Yesterday by Bamboo
--> some people find them "preachy" but I guess that was because of their last album. This album displays the band's heart on their sleeve and should be on everyone's playlist (plus, Bamboo's hot! LOL)

Captured by Christian Bautista and Sitti
--> i love this song, and the video's great eye candy! hey, even my brother loves it!

Eheads Reunion
--> and everything that went with it - the interview, the myx documentary, the issues, the reprinting of Fruitcake, the abrupt ending.
The eheads will always be a part of any music list I make. It was sad when they disbanded but as I've said, it's not about losing them but rather finding new groups from the separate members that could be a part of another of my life's chapter's soundtrack.

Your Universe by Rico Blanco
—-> To quote Cris Ramos of the Manila Times, "The most eclectic, no filler-all killer album of the year. An album documenting an artist who values his craft so much there’s no doubt he pulled all stops to do it." 'nuff said =)

Now, on to the international music scene:

Ne-Yo: Year of the Gentleman
--> His album is just wonderful. Shaffer Chimere Smith (yes, that's his real name)has created one of the best r&b releases of the year. His flattery is suave, but his prodigious songwriting talent is even smoother.

If I Were a Boy by Beyonce
--> I don't like her album but this songs just gets to me. The song showcases Beyonce's strong emotional interpretation of songs and her incredible voice, and I feel that the track gets better each time I hear it.

Selfish by Asia Cruise
-->Have been listening to this track since my friend introduced me to it. Just speaks a lot to me. LOL,

Take a Bow by Rihanna
--> love the song! basta lang =)

Zack Hexum
--> Thanks to maj for introducing me to this friend of hers. Hexum is a veteran on the indie music scene, with songwriting efforts reaching back several years. Check out his songs at

Monday, December 29, 2008


my friend NeeNee made me read one of her masterpieces and it was hilarious! it was factual but it hit the bull's eye.

thanks so much NeeNee!! you know that "thank you" will always always be an understatement of how grateful I am for the gift of your friendship.

now...if only you could post your "masterpiece" here...LOL =)

Sunday, December 28, 2008

let the gray matter churn

Someone emailed this to me .

Here's the instruction:
You have to work out what the letters mean. See Number 0 as an example. According to MENSA, if you get 19+ of these you are a "Genius". Only 2 Mensa members achieved full marks. See how well you do.

Scoring: 1 to 5 is Average, 6-11 Somewhat Intelligent, 12 to 18 Intelligent, 19+ Genius

For eg. Solution for Question no.0.. "24 H in a D" is "24 Hours in a Day"
Try the rest and see how many u get..

0. 24 H in a D - 24 Hours in a Day
1. 26 L of the A
2. 7 D of the W
3. 7 W of the W
4. 12 S of the Z
5. 66 B of the B
6. 52 C in a P (WJs)
7. 13 S in the USF
8. 18 H on a G C
9. 39 B of the O T
10. 5 T on a F
11. 90 D in a R A
12. 3 B M (S H T R)
13. 32 is the T in D F at which W F
14. 15 P in a R T
15. 3 W on a T
16. 100 C in a R
17. 11 P in a F (S) T
18. 12 M in a Y
19. 13=UFS
20. 8 T on a O
21. 29 D in F in a L Y
22. 27 B in the N T
23. 365 D in a Y
24. 13 L in a B D
25. 52 W in a Y
26. 9 L of a C
27. 60 M in a H
28. 23 P of C in the H B
29. 64 S on a C B
30. 9 P in S A
31. 6 B to an O in C
32. 1000 Y in a M
33. 15 M on a D M C

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Merry Christmas everyone!

May we all keep in mind and in heart the true meaning of christmas.

God bless you and your loved ones!

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Another reason to make Dec 25 jolly

In her article The Ten Days of Newton, Olivia Judson proposes the following song, to be sung to the tune of “The Twelve Days of Christmas.”

the final verse goes like this:

On the tenth day of Newton,
My true love gave to me,
Ten drops of genius,
Nine silver co-oins,
Eight circling planets,
Seven shades of li-ight,
Six counterfeiters,
Four telescopes,
Three Laws of Motion,
Two awful feuds,
And the discovery of gravity!

All together now! =)
(click link to read more)

mga parol sa daan

9th morning

Finally! I've come to the last day of misa de aguinaldo. Church was jampacked. I noticed that the first and last days of the misa de aguinald are the most jampacked days. First day, last day huh? =)

The church I went to had their mass at 4 am and not at 430. Good thing I was early this morning.

Then I realized why they had to start at 4am : priest's sermon was loooooooong. It was not boring though. He was so animated I never noticed it took him 40minutes to finish his sermon.

During the Glory to God, a big star descended from the roof of the church to the belen near the altar.
The priest talked about that star. The star symbolizes Christ who was sent by God. He who is shining for and in us. Christ our guiding light.

We are instruments of God. May we become better instruments as we celebrate another christmas this year.

Thank you for following my missa de gallo posts! =)

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

8th day

Priest talked about connections. We are all connected to Jesus through Mama Mary. She who is the most blessed among women. We are connected with each other through Jesus.

Let us not cut off that connection.

God will never let us down.

Monday, December 22, 2008

7th day

My soul magnifies the Lord,
And my spirit rejoices in God my Savior.
For He has regarded the low estate of His handmaiden,
For behold, henceforth all generations shall call me blessed.
For He who is mighty has done great things for me, and holy is His name. And His mercy is on those who fear Him from generation to generation.
He has shown strength with His arm:
He has scattered the proud in the imagination of their hearts.
He has put down the mighty from their thrones,
and exalted those of low degree.
He has filled the hungry with good things;
and the rich He has sent empty away.
He has helped His servant Israel, in remembrance of His mercy;
As He spoke to our fathers, to Abraham and to His posterity forever.

Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen

Scripture text: Revised Standard Version - Catholic Edition

The Magnificat is more than a prayer of praise. It also reminds us about the essential link between humility and holiness. Just as God has “regarded the lowliness of his handmaid” and “has done great things” for Mary in making her the Mother of his Son, so too “he has put down the mighty from their thrones and has exalted the lowly.”

And as for the rich being sent away empty? This line refers to those who live for wealth and power and feel they have everything figured out. These people in, effect wish to be Gods rather than God’s. How can our Lord fill those who are already full--of themselves?

There is always something to be thankful for. We always ask God for something big but we neglect to thank Him for the little blessings that He sends our way.

St. Ambrose once said "Let Mary's soul be in us to glorify the Lord; let her spirit be in us that we may rejoice in God our Saviour."

Does your soul magnify the Lord?
Do people see Christ’s love and goodness in you?

Sunday, December 21, 2008

he reeks of Tlazlimquiztli

Toujours Tingo, a book by Adam Jacot de Boinod, lists weird words and bizarre phrases from around the world.

some of my favorites:

Mouton enragé : French for someone calm who loses their temper - literally, "an enraged sheep".

Ikibari: Japanese, a "lively needle" and describing a man who is willing but under-endowed.

Tantenverführer: German for a young man with suspiciously good manners.

Stroitel: Russian for a man who likes to have sex with two women at the same time.

Trennungsagentur: German for someone hired by a woman to tell her boyfriend he has been dumped.

Momma ko ene: Cheyenne for having red eyes from crying over your boyfriend marrying someone else.

Tlazlimquiztli: Aztec for the smell of adulterers.

Nosom Para Oblake: Serbian for "he is ripping clouds with his nose", describing someone conceited.

Chantepleurer: French for singing at the same time as crying.

Hira hira: Japanese for the fear you get from walking into a decrepit old house in the middle of the night.

Les avoir a zero: French for "to have one's testicles down to zero", or be frightened.

and our contributions:

Lalew: Filipino word meaning to grieve so much you can't eat.

Layogenic: Filipino for someone good-looking from afar but ugly up close.

click the link to read more! =)

6th day

It's the 6th day of simbang gabi and the stress is taking a toll on me. I've been getting home at 12midnght or onwards lately due to all the christmas events and I get about 2hrs max sleep before the mass. Good thing I got some sleep after the mass this morning.

Anyway, the sermon this morning was about letting God work himself in and through us. The importance of discipline and of delayed self-gratification.

Why is it so hard to listen to God? To know what he wants for us? Easy. It's because people are spoiled. When someone is spoiled, it makes it harder for the person to listen to someone else. A spoiled person enjoys immediate gratification. S/he does not know how to wait for something (even someone) s/he wants. A spoiled heart can no longer listen to God. That's why it is important for everyone to practice discipline. Delay the gratification a little bit. For when you wait for something (or someone), that something (or someone) becomes more meaningful. It's easy to take something (someone) for granted when you got it just as easy.

Are you ready to listen to God?

Saturday, December 20, 2008

5th day

I was supposed to go to a chuch near my house but since I was out of the house early, i drove farther and ended up somewhere else.

The gospel says that in the sixth month after the conception of St. John the Baptist by Elizabeth, the angel Gabriel was sent from God to the Virgin Mary. Mary was of the house of David, and was espoused to Joseph, of the same royal family. And the angel having taken the figure and the form of man, came into the house and said to her: "Hail, full of grace, the Lord is with thee." Mary having heard the greeting words did not speak; she was troubled in spirit, since she knew not the angel, nor the cause of his coming, nor the meaning of the salutation. And the angel continued and said: "Fear not, Mary, for thou hast found grace with God. Behold thou shalt conceive in thy womb, and shalt bring forth a son; and thou shalt call his name Jesus. "

Priest's sermon was focused on what a christian is. He said that in the gospel, there are two things uttered by the angel Gabriel that could best describe a follower of Christ:

"the Lord is with thee" = A christian has the Lord with him/her. Therefore, s/he is a happy person.

"Fear not" = A christian is fearless. Fearless because s/he is with the Lord.

So we all should smile. Stay postive. And we should have courage.
The Lord is with us.

Do you have what it takes to be a Christian?

Friday, December 19, 2008

4th day

I went to mass at a hospital's chapel. Chapel was overflowing with people. I got there at 410am and had no seat already.

I was still annunciation day but not Jesus'. First reading was about Samson. The gospel was about John the baptist. What do these two have in common? They were both borne to parents who were not old but rather "advanced in age" (I love how politically-correct that is!) and they were both consecrated to the Lord while still in the womb.

In the gospel, the angel Gabriel appeared to Zechariah and told him that his wife will be of child and that thier child will pave the way for the messiah. Zechariah questioned this and he then he lost his ability to speak until Elizabeth gave birth.

So what do these readings teach us?

We should try to look at the bright side. Be optimistic. See the positive in everything/everyone and believe in the good. Believe that no matter how nasty something/someone is, there will always be something good -no matter how small- in it/her/him (hahah).

The priest said this: "God's delays are not GOd's denials. Sometimes we just have to wait. Do not lose hope and thank God for that waiting period because that means He's preparing you to receive that wonderful gift. Hope. With hope, we can face the darkness. Miracles do happen. God will never give us what's less for us."

How do we look at the world? at other people? How do we go about in our relationships?

Thursday, December 18, 2008

christmas tree

before the lighting

my christmas tree that's lit up

3rd day

This morning, I attended simbang gabi at another church/chapel. My goal is to attend nine masses at nine different churches/chapels so i'm on a roll here(hahaha).

The gospel today was about the annunciation. The annunciation to both Mary and Joseph.

When the angel Gabriel visited Mary, all she said was "be it done unto me according to your word."

One sentence and trouble ensued. She got pregnant. Out of wedlock.

The priest focused on Joseph. Joseph did not sleep with Mary but Mary got pregnant. In their culture, something like that calls for a public trial and eventually stoning to death of the adulterer.

Joseph was man enough to stand up for Mary. He was compassionate. He decided to secretly divorce her. He spared her and the child from being killed. When the angel visited him and enlightened him about what happened to Mary, he changed his mind and we all know what happened next.

Mary and Joseph both said yes to God.

What does it cost us to say yes to God as well?

= = = = = = = = = = = = = =

the church i went to this morning had an empty belen. every morning, they add an element/figure to the belen...pretty nifty concept. i'll come back and take pics of the belen when it's complete =)

2nd day

I was supposed to blog last night but i had too much to do. Apologies to my five followers (hehehe....aylabsyu!)

So I went to the second day of simbang gabi. This time to another church - rather chapel of one of the big malls here in our place.

The gospel was about Jesus' genealogy. For those who have attended or have been attending simbang gabi for the past year/s, this is where we hear about his lineage -Abraham was the father of Isaac, Isaac the father of Jacob, Jacob the father of Judah and his brothers, until it reaches Joseph, the husband of Mary, of whom was born Jesus, who is called Christ.

Priest said it is important to note the genealogy of Jesus to know that he came from the the blood line of David, the king. Jesus was of royal blood but he did not come to be a political king, he came to save us from sin, to lead us to where there is true happiness.

May this holiday season make us realize that what is truly important is that we celebrate Christ's birth and not think too much of the material things that come with the season.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

1st morning

it's another round of simbang gabi for me. when mom was still around, she used to sing for the cathedral's choir and i was just happy to tag along every morning. she sang with the choir until the december before she died and so i promised to continue this tradition.
i went to mass at 430am earlier. mass was surprisingly short, just about an hour. last year, i attended a mass that started at 430 and lasted til 645am. priest got so pumped up with his sermon he did not notice some people were already snoring...hehehe.
after mass i had breakfast with some friends and then went to work super early. by midmorning, i was super sleepy na rin =(

i took some pictures but can't upload them yet. will prolly post them tomorrow. have to sleep earlier tonight so i can have enough energy for tomorrow =)

thank God, it's not a kumod-filled day today! yay!

Monday, December 15, 2008

today's kumod

early morning kumod

it's ten days before christmas and i still have not bought gifts for everyone on my christmas list.
the past two months have been super stressful that i forgot about my list. i bought some gifts way back in september (i think) and i thought i only need to add a few more but oddly enough, my list has grown long and now i'm in a semi-panic mode. even my gifts for my dear dad which i purchased online has not arrived yet and it's driving me nuts. my brother got his christmas gift early so i only need to get him a little something-something so he'll have a gift to open come christmas time.

midmorning kumod

i hate it when people give you something to do "just because". i hate it more when they want you to do that something ASAP. sigh.

afternoon kumod

this is not exactly kumod but hey, it's my blog and i call the shots! hahaha!

i'm happy for little victories. i have wanted to get something back from someone in a long time and today my prayer was answered.
i love teamwork!
i love little victories!

just got home! had a mini celebration for the mini-victory:

No, we did not drink the alcohol ;o)

nins, thank you is an understatement of my gratitude! =)

Sunday, December 14, 2008

what woke me up

was sleeping soundly when this blared from my brother's room:

The world is a vampire, sent to drain
Secret destroyers, hold you up to the flames
And what do I get for my pain?
Betrayed desires, and a piece of the game

Even though I know - I suppose I'll show
All my cool and cold-like old job
Despite all my rage I'm still just a rat in a cage (2x)
Then someone will say what is lost can never be saved
Despite all my rage I'm still just a rat in a cage

Now I'm naked, nothing but an animal
But can you fake it, for just one more show?
And what do you want, I want to change
And what have you got when you feel the same

Tell me I'm the only one
Tell me there's no other one
Jesus was an only son
Tell me I'm the chosen one
Jesus was an only son for you

Despite all my rage I'm still just a rat in a cage
Then someone will say what is lost can never be saved
Despite all my rage I'm still just a rat in a cage
And I still believe that I cannot be saved

--> brought back a lot of hs memories. hahahaha.

= = = =
found a video!

Saturday, December 13, 2008

string me six words

They say that you can actually put a lot of meaning in just six words. Six words that can go inside one's heart and wreak either havoc or joy.

So I asked some people to help me with this. Here are their contributions:

"i love you you, you love me" (Barney...hahaha)

" sorry. it's not you. it's me" (waaaaahahahah...from someone i knew)

"he's just not that into you" (looking forward to the movie with the same title)

"i don't know what to say" (that's from my brother)

"i am an agent of chaos" (joker, dark knight)

"please get off me. you're heavy" (that one's from a friend...LOL)

"why am i the last to know?" (it's a song but it's very applicable lately)

will post more later. help anyone?

"write to express, not to impress" from maimai (thanks maimaimai!)

Friday, December 12, 2008

email of the day

Lately, Ive been receiving a lot of messages (sms, email, fs/fb) from my friends. One email I received had this message:

The version found written on the wall in Mother Teresa's home for children in Calcutta:

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you.
Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.
Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten.
Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.
Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

my reflections:
People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.
Forgive them anyway.
--> I am also guilty of being unreasonable and irrational and self-centered at times. I guess that's human nature.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.
Succeed anyway.
--> There are just some people who would rather find the bad in other people, but as long as you do what you do wholeheartedly without any ulterior motive, there's nothing to be afraid of.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you.
Be honest and sincere anyway.
--> "honesty is such a lonely word" as the song goes (yes ez, what a lousy song choice...hahaha). In a world where you can't be sure of the people around you, it's difficult to be true to yourself without thinking of how others will see you.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.
Create anyway.
--> It takes years to build a relationship but only a small thing to shake your world. I've learned this the hard way...twice. I'm not giving up though. I will still create something wonderful in due time.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten.
Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.
Give your best anyway.
--> people will always find something to criticize about what you might think you gave your best (and you have) but there will always be some people who will say "you could have done better". let them be. better yet, let them do it and be the one criticizing their job (LOL)

In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.
--> Truly, God is the only one who can judge us. Let's do all the good we can for He knows what's in our hearts and in our minds.

Monday, December 8, 2008

at the grocery store

so i saw my ex's aunt at the grocery store this afternoon. i thought, "what a pleasant surprise" coz this particular aunt is one of the nicest i've met. so we talked. and then she dropped the bomb. i was actually not surprised with the news but hearing the confirmation was still not a good thing.
i need a break.

another nice email

send lang to sakin sa email ng friend ko...

in love ka nga ba?

para sa mga taong nanliligaw, nagbabalak manligaw, nililigawan,
naliligaw, nag-iintay maligawan at nagbabalak lumagay sa magulo..........

ang love ay hindi minamadali... hindi pinipilit..
at lalong hindi kina-career...aray ko


dahil ba natutuwa ka sa kanya???... o kaya naman naaaliw ka???...
naswee-sweetan ka ba ng sobra sa kanya???... kinikilig ka ba pag nakikita mo siya???... at nahi-high kapag naririnig mo na ang boses niya???...

eh teka muna... baka naman infatuated ka lang....
o kaya naman kagaya nga ng sagot mo... BAKA naaaliw ka lang...
dahil kakaiba siya... may spark na hindi mo maintindihan...

tsk!!!... ang saklap nyan!...

madali ba siyang mapikon???... pano ba siya mabadtrip???...
madali bang ma halata na may topak siya???... ano bang suot niya pag nasa bahay siya???... shorts ba o pantalon???... nakasando ba siya o naka-t-shirt lang???...
matagal ba siyang maligo???.... kumakain ba siya ng vegetables???...
tamad ba siya???... mas gusto ba niyang manood ng tv kaysa magbasa ng libro???...
nagpe-play station ba siya???... tatlo ba ang pamangkin niyang lalaki???...
makukulit ba yung mga kamag-anak niya???... green ba ang kulay ng gate ng bahay nila???... sa village ba siya nakatira???... may sakayan ba ng jeep na malapit sa
kanila???... nagsisimba ba siya linggo-linggo???...
kasama ba yung pamilya niya???... at nagdadasal ba siya bago matulog???...

in short... alam mo na nga ba???...
ang mga bagay-bagay... ang mga simpleng bagay tungkol sa kanya...
na nagdedetermine ng sarili niya... as in kung sino ba talaga SIYA...

as in TANGGAPIN ng buong-buo... sa lahat ng trip niya sa buhay...
sa lahat ng katopakan niya... sa lahat ng pag-iinarte at pag-dadrama niya...
sa lahat ng kasalanang nagawa, ginawa, at gagawin pa lang niya...
sa lahat ng naiisip niya... sa lahat ng sasabihin niya... sa kilos niya...
sa pananamit pa pala niya... sa pagsasalita... sa pananaw niya sa buhay...
sa pagtrato niya sa tao... sa lifestyle niya... sa uri ng pamilyang meron siya...
sa uri ng kaibigang kasa-kasama niya... sa style niya pagdating sa love...
sa kasweetan niyang natural... sa paglalambing niya...
sa tawa niyang pagkalakas-lakas... sa manners niya...
sa bisyo niya kung meron man... sa mga pang-aasar niya sayo...
sa style niya pagdating sa pagsolve ng problema... sa problemang maaari ka ring masama...

kaya mo bang makita yung sarili mo... na kasama pa rin siya ha...
sa isang sitwasyong pag naisip mo eh... mapapaiyak ka na lang sa sakit...
nang dahil din sa kanya???...

kaya mo bang magmukhang tanga... as in umiyak ng dahil sa kababawan...
ibuhos ang mga nararamdaman mo... kahit na puro kababawan nga lang naman...
as in kahit sa harapan niya???... kaya mo bang maging barubal pag kasama mo
siya???... yung tipo bang wala ka ng pakielam... mawala man ang manners mo...
na wala ka naman talaga...

yung tipong hindi ka nahihiyang ipakita kung sino ka talaga...
dahil alam mong...

tama na kasi ang trip... tama na ang pagmamadali...
oo masarap ngang mainvolve sa isang tao... pero diba mas masarap yun...


just a thought

The heart they say is at the center of our chest, but it beats at the left side. I guess that's the reason why the heart is not always right. In life we search for answers becasue we want to prove to ourselves that we made the right decisions, but the truth is we can't search for something that isn't there.

Things happen beacuse they're meant to happen. That's why we forgive people who hurt us, we love people who do not love us, and we smile despite every painful experience that crashes in our hearts.

At the end of the day, the lessons we learn are the answers to our decisions.

It is so easy to think about love, to talk about love and to wish for love. But it is not alwys easy to recognize love, even when it is within reach.

when your feelings get strong for someone, it's always wise to stop for a while and give your heart a time to breathe..A time to use your mind, to weigh the situation based on reason not on emotion. because the saddest thing that can happen is when one falls inlove when the other wants nothing more than friendship..Love can sometimes be magic, but magic can sometimes be just an illusion.

"Unless it's mad,passionate,extraordinary LOVE, it's a waste of time. There are too many mediocre things in life and love shouldn't be one of them" - a quote from someone

Sunday, December 7, 2008

new addition to the family!

My cousin-in-law gave birth to the family's (my dad's side) 6th apo last week. Welcome to the world, little angel!


This afternoon, I got a phone call from a friend inviting me to a party. A good friend whom I haven't seen for quite some time got engaged. So off I went and I'm glad I did. It was nice catching up with old friends and meeting new ones too. There was so much to talk about! And I've learned quite a few about everyone's favorite topic - LOVE.

1. I've learned that if it's the right person, you really can't care about anything. Take my newly-engaged friend. She told us her love story and I found out that she got engaged only after a month after knowing the guy! Everyone kept telling her to think twice but she said she's sure she made the right decision. So there.
Then there's a new friend I made this evening: A. She and her then-bf (now husband) went to vegas on a vacation two years ago and got married on a whim at 4:30am in a 24-hr instant marriage chapel (officiated by a 71-yr old elvis/chaplain/minister)! She even showed us their video...all eight minutes of it!
And of course there's M. She met her husband online, fell in love the moment they met in person and got married three months after.
Love truly makes people do crazy things!

2. I've learned that sometimes, it's not exactly love but the feeling of being in love. There's S. She knows she doesn't love her bf anymore (after almost 3years) but she can't let him go that easily coz she wants to think that she's "in love" (or something like that).

3. Though we know it's time to let go, we hold on coz we don't want to bust our ego. Let's take L's case. She's an achiever. She and her then-bf were together for 6 years. They broke up because of a third party and L almost got into a catfight with the other girl coz she wanted to fight for her bf. I asked her why should she if it's obvious that the guy chose the other girl? She replied "deep down, I don't wanna end up being the girl that was dumped". For someone who's achieved so much, it was indeed ego-busting that she got dumped for a plain jane.

4. Sometimes, love is really just not enough. R is so in love with her bf and gave him almost everything because, well, she's sooooo in lurve. BUT her bf abused her kindness and though she tolerated him at first, she eventually realized that in order to love him, she must love herself first. So she had to let go. Love is really not enough in her case. In order for love to work, it should be coupled with respect.

5. I've learned that getting married is expensive, especially if you have a large family and a larger set of friends. But then again, everyone knows that already =)

Saturday, December 6, 2008

a friend shared this to me

Author unknown

Everyone longs to give themselves to someone, to have a deep soul relationship with another to be loved thoroughly and exclusively.

But God says to a you - NO, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled and content with being loved by me alone, with
giving yourself totally and unreservedly with me.

With having an intense, personal and loving relationship with me
alone, discovering that only in me is your satisfaction to be found. Then you will never be united with another until you are united with me exclusively of anyone or anything else. Exclusively of any other desires or longings. I want you to have the best. PLEASE allow me to give it to you. I want you to stop planning and stop wishing and allow me to give you the most thrilling plan existing, one that you cannot imagine. I want you to have the best so just keep watching me, expecting the greatest thing and listen and learn the things I tell you. You just wait . . . . that's all.

Don't be anxious. Don't worry. Don't look around at the things others have received or that I have given them. Don't look at the things you think you want, just keep looking to me or you'll miss what I want to show you and then, then, when you are ready, I'll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than any you can dream of!!! You see, until you are ready, and until the one I have for you is ready -- I am working at this very moment to have the both of you ready at the same time -- until you are both satisfied exclusively with me and the life that I have prepared for you,
you won't be able to experience the love that exemplifies your
relationship with me. And this is PERFECT love.

And dear one, I want you to have this wonderful love. I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with me and enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection and love. KNOW that I love you, I am God.

Know it and be satisfied!!!

date day

Ever since our mom died, my brother and I promised each other that we'll have a "date day" once a week. Lately though, our schedules won't mesh so we try to do it every other week instead. The other day was that day. I told him I wanna watch twilight (again! LOL) but he won't budge (he's more of a vampire chronicles fan: "a vegetarian vampire? wtf! give me lestat or louis anytime!"). So we scoured the mall for some things to buy.

Saludo OPM!
here's some of what he asked for when we got to the music store:

guy was grinning from ear to ear coz he finally completed his eheads and rivermaya cd collection (he only had the casette tapes of the old eheads/maya albums). Am just happy to finally find a pupil 1st album and kjwan's 2stepmarv album.

I wanna Havs!
I got these xmas havs from all flip flops (left pair):

I know it's a previous xmas model but it's on S-A-L-E! LOL. =)

When we got home, tatay gave me this:

I'm a samsung convert now (am loving my dual sim phone!) but still......whee!!! =)

will dodge rotten tomatoes =)

I grew up listening to the eraserheads. In high school, I begged my folks to let me watch an eraserheads concert. I loved (and still do) the lyrics, the beat, everything. High school was the best four years of my life and the soundtrack of that time in my life is made up of eheads songs.

I’ve been watching the eraserheads documentary on myx last month. I know I’d probably get a lot of flak for this but here’s my take on the issue.

The eraserheads surely won’t be the eraserheads if one was lacking. Ely provided the lyrics, raimund the beat, marcus the mean guitar riffs and buddy the strong bass. What I found sad was ely’s leaving the group and just sending a text message. For a long time, everyone pinned the blame on raimund, that he wanted to front the band, that he was the diva among them. I was one of those people. Seeing how raimund’s the boisterous one among them, I jumped to that conclusion. But I guess I was wrong. He’s a good guy.

Words are not enough to thank the boys for writing the soundtrack of my highschool life. I wish them and their respective bands success. I’ve been listening to their different bands and they’re all amazing. I would like to think that with their breakup, I did not lose the eheads, instead I gained a new set of amazing artists that will contribute to another chapter's soundtrack of my life.

Friday, December 5, 2008


After a loooong time, my braces are finally off! My brother's been teasing me cos he had his' for only a year and a half and it took me longer...but hey, i had uglier teeth (am not ashamed! LOL) and though my teeth are not perfect, they're a little better than how they used to be. hahaha.

So what's to do now? Eat corn on a cob!!! yay!!

Monday, December 1, 2008

smiling moon

the moon and the two planets are smiling earlier this night :D

Wondering why the moon smile at you? Tonight you might have not notice the moon is smiling. Go out and look at the moon and you might see the moon smiling back at you. The smiling moon phenomenon happens every 48 years, so don’t miss it! “Astronomers say Venus and Jupiter and a crescent moon will form a smiley face tonight, with the planets forming the eyes and the moon forming the mouth. Venus and Jupiter have appeared side by side in the evening sky over the last week or so, but tonight will be the best night to see the “face” appear, astronomers say.”

The smiling moon phenomenon is best viewed in Western Australia. The eyes are closer to the moon! Sad to say, the effect of the phenomenon is inverted in the United States. It will appear as frown. Lucky to us here in the Philippines, we will witness the smiling moon!

As i a look at the moon tonight, i feel that the heavens is trying to send us a message. Perhaps it is a reminder for us to be happy amidst the crisis and problems that the world is suffering. Think positive. Be happy!

Sunday, November 30, 2008

what does your name mean?

What Princesskumod Means

You are influential and persuasive. You tend to have a lot of power over people.

Generally, you use your powers for good. You excel at solving other people's problems.

Occasionally, you do get a little selfish and persuade people to do things that are only in your interest.

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.

You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.

You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.

You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.

You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.

You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.

You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily.

You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind.

A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.

You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.

At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.

You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.

You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.

You are a seeker of knowledge, and you have learned many things in your life.

You are also a keeper of knowledge - meaning you don't spill secrets or spread gossip.

People sometimes think you're snobby or aloof, but you're just too deep in thought to pay attention to them.

You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way.

And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life.

You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it.

You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated.

You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want.

You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way!

You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life.

You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you.

At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself.

You are balanced, orderly, and organized. You like your ducks in a row.

You are powerful and competent, especially in the workplace.

People can see you as stubborn and headstrong. You definitely have a dominant personality.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

quotes quotes

was talking to my bro a while ago about our favorite movie quotes. i'm sharing some of mine here (be warned! corny-ness ahead!):

"I'm sorry, just give me a moment to redefine my girlish notions of romance." A Beautiful Mind

"You're supposed to be the leading lady in your own life, for God's sake!" The Holiday

"the reason why we are suffering is not because the love has ended but because it still continues even after the love is over" Il Mare

"when do you move on? You move on when your heart finally understands that there is no turning back" - Lord of the Rings

"...I just don't understand how God would let us meet, if there is no way for us to be together..."- City of Angels

Maybe what I'm saying is, is the world might be evolving the way a person evolves. Right? Like, I mean, me for example. Am I getting worse? Am I improving? I don't know. When I was younger, I was healthier, but I was, uh, whacked with insecurity, you know? Now I'm older and my problems are deeper, but I'm more equipped to handle them. - Before Sunset

Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a fucked-up girl who's lookin' for my own peace of mind; don't assign me yours.- Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

"...for the first time everything seemed clear to me - like one logical progression. It felt like you and I were the greatest plan ever made and I had nothing to do with it. Being with you made me feel that maybe I didn't have to keep planning anymore because it felt like I was actually living. And that for once in my life I wouldn't have to work so hard at being happy." ~Boy and Girls

"Some memories are so painful. To forget is a blessing."- Kung Fu Hustle

"The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that's what you've given me. That's what I hope to give to you forever"- the notebook

"I hope someday somebody wants to hold you for 20 minutes straight and that's all they do. They don't pull away. They don't look at your face. They don't try to kiss you. All they do is wrap you up in their arms and hold on tight, without an ounce of selfishness in it. "The Waitress

kumod kumod kumod

I am having a hard time being the troubleshooter (kuno) for things going not so well at work. It pisses me off that I can not say “no” to whatever it is that needs “fixing”. It’s not that I don’t want to say no – Lord knows I am soooo tired of being in this role all the time -, it’s just impossible to say no because I’m never offered anything. Things are just pushed at my face.

And the main reason why I have to do what they ask? It’s because I’m SINGLE!

“You have plenty of time coz you have no kids or a husband to look after when the work day is done.”

“You’re single. Surely you can do this because your time is flexible.”

“You’re single. Now go and do this.”


I love being challenged. I love to prove that I can do things by myself (girrrrrlpowerrr!) but sometimes I feel that my boss/colleagues are not thinking about me, the person (hello! I need a life away from work too!) – just me, the girl who’s single and thus in no position to say no to requests.

I really need to get away from work soon. Let’s go on that trip Nins =)

Friday, November 28, 2008


I seldom drink. I’ve never had a drunken story. Well, not until last saturday night.

I got really drunk that night. Never meant to. It was a “just-one-shot” thing which led to a second shot, a third shot…and eventually finishing the whole bottle of tequila.

So what happened? All I know is that I was bitching about my ex, some friends, work and life in general. I still have not seen my drinking buddies so I have yet to hear about my unfortunate blabberings.


On a personal note, if you guys are reading this…

Dan, salamat sa tequila (actually sa boss mo for giving you the tequila..LOL) and being my drinking buddy. It was fun to get drunk with you. Hahahah.
Zsa, thanks for being there. You get me and I really really appreciate that. Too bad you did not join the drinking spree. I know whatever happened in pza, will stay at pza. Hahaha
You two are the best couple ever. Thanks for driving me home and keeping me safe in my drunkenness.

Nins, too bad you weren’t there. You’ve been telling me you wanna see me get drunk. Well, you missed it. ‘twas the first and I don’t think it’s gonna happen again real sooon.

Tomtom, PhiTau, JPD…you missed out guys.

Ay zsa! Yudifoo…Masturyahanay pa ta ha. LOL.

crush kumod

I haven’t talked about my crush for quite some time. I think I’ve outgrown him (LOL!). I have another crush though. Bigger than before and I’ve been quite the stalker these past days. Then I found out that my ex-crush and my recent fantasy boy (as my friend calls him – kasi nga fantasy talaga…out of my reach!) are related! Hahaha. No wonder they’re both so gwapo. With very very verrrry cute dimples. Sigh. I know that my ex-crush is single but my recent crush is so mysterious there are only a few info I got online about him. Just pics and pics and pics. Some pics with girls but no particular girl appears multiple times in the pictures. So I guess (am hoping!!!!) he’s unattached! Oooooh….

paging the universe to please make things work towards me and him falling in love and living happily ever after (diba sabi ni coehlo “when you want something so bad, the universe conspires in order to get you that something”? in my case it’s a someONE. LOL! )

I definitely need a break. I really need to get away soon.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

overdue post..LOL

So Geoff and Tisha did not win the race. They came in a very very verrrry close second. I feel so bad. The hk guys won and I would love to be happy for them coz I know they deserve the win - after all, they even had a four hour penalty -but right now I’m not. I was soooo hoping team phils will win this time.
Oh year ulit. Sigh.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

excited about the amazing race asia!!!

go team pinas!!
geoff and tisha for the win!!!

*will blog more later =)

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Oh, wouldn't the world seem dull and flat with nothing whatever to grumble at? ~W.S. Gilbert

There are three kinds of people in the world: people who whine and complain, people who just shut up and “go with the flow”, and people who sell sea shells by the sea shore. Actually, there really isn’t a third category; it’s just that people think that an effective list needs a minimum of three items. Kidding aside, we, Filipinos, as you might have guessed, naturally belong to the first set.
We do complain. We even complain a lot (just watch the local news). We grumble just about anything and everything. Sometimes I think that we are naturally born whiners and gripers.
One dictionary defines complaining as "an expression of pain, dissatisfaction, or resentment." Why say it once when we can indulge in our misery?
Me? I love to whine. I think it’s therapeutic. But I only do that when I’m with my closest friends coz I know they’ll understand. And my friends love to complain too. It’s our hobby. We complain just about anything and usually end up laughing.
Seriously, we should complain if necessary. After all, we Filipinos are good at that. We’ll just have to squeak and squawk at the right person, right place and right time.

Monday, November 17, 2008


hampered, hindered
watched and observed
guarded, subdued
Break free
Let loose
Let me be.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

lunch smlunch

I had lunch with my mom’s side yesterday. My aunt just got back from the states and she wanted to gather those who are still here in the PI. It was fun seeing my cousins and their little ones.
What annoys me during these gatherings is the never-ending asking of “why are you still single?”, “Don’t you have marriage plans?” “When will you give your dad an apo?”. I’ve been asked those questions for four years now – as if being single is a crime.
I understand why they’re asking that because they knew my ex boyfriend and I believe they liked him too. There are even pasalubongs for him. They just did not know that my love life has been non-existent since June.
So I told them that he and I broke up. Another annoying thing happened. I heard “oooh”s and “aaah”s and “aaaawwwwww”s.
They then asked why and I just gave them the short cut version of my break up: “it just did not work out.” Of course they were not contented. They had to know the long version. I told them a little bit and another dissection/autopsy was performed. And then the clichés came: “if he’s meant for you, he’ll come back”, “it’s not you, it’s him”, “his loss, sweetie”, “hay naku, marami pa dyan!” (agree ako sa last two! J )
My father was listening all the while my aunts and cousins were fussing over my break-up. He was smiling the whole time. I think he knew how I was feeling (pissed and amused at the same time). It was fun to see my aunts and cousins fussing over my breakup. It was like a bad teenage drama scene.
I know what my aunts and cousins were thinking: I’m getting “old” and I have no one. You see, most of my cousins got married in their early 20s. They now have plenty (3-5, yes that’s plenty) of kids, some are even in high school already. I am the second youngest girl among us cousins and since I reached 22, they’ve been looking forward to my marriage.
I appreciate their concern. Honestly, I do. I just don’t appreciate the pity. They may not say it but I can feel it.
I don’t like people pitying me. I have enough insecurities already and people pitying me are not helping one bit.
So I had to be brave and smile though everything.
Now…what to do with the pasalubongs =)

Thursday, November 13, 2008

"I like the night. Without the dark, we'd never see the stars."

I am on the twilight bandwagon. I spent many sleepless nights reading the books, excited to find out what happens between edward, bella and jacob.

I won't comment on the books but I'll share my favorite quotes :

The ultimate doom: telling Renée. Early marriage was higher up on her blacklist than boiling live puppies. --Bella

If I don’t have a better sense of equilibrium in my next life, I’m demanding a refund. --Bella

You can talk when you’re not being stupid. - Jacob

Her fashion sense hasn’t improved as much as her balance. --Alice on Bella

I don’t know… I’ve already mangled the headboard in the other room beyond repair – maybe if we limit the destruction to one area of the house, Esme might invite us back someday. --Edward to Bella

"Make Bella see sense? What universe do you live in?" --Jacob

Hey, do you know what you call a blonde with a brain? A golden retriever. --Jacob to Rosalie

Mom dropped him a lot when he was a baby. --Leah

So it’s still standing? I would’ve thought you two had knocked it to rubble by now. What were you doing last night? Discussing the national debt? --Emmett to Edward & Bella

“But I am a werewolf,” he said unwillingly. “And he is a vampire,” he added with obvious revulsion.“And I’m a Virgo!” I shouted, exasperated.- Jacob & Bella

My decision was made, made before I'd ever consciously chosen, and I was committed to seeing it through. Because there was nothing more terrifying to me, more excruciating, than the thought of turning away from him. It was an impossibility. -Twilight

When life offers you a dream so far beyond any of your expectations, its not reasonable to grieve when it coms to an end. -Twilight

It was nice to be alone, not to have to smile and look pleased; a relief to stare dejectedly out the window at the sheeting rain and let just a few tears escape.Bella Swan, Twilight

For almost ninety years I’ve walked among my kind, and yours… all the time thinking I was complete in myself, not realizing what I was seeking. And not finding anything, because you weren’t alive yet. --Edward to Bella (Twilight)

It’s been almost a century that Edward’s been alone. Now he’s found you. You can’t see the changes that we see, we who have been with him for so long. Do you think any of us want to look into his eyes for the next hundred years if he loses you? --Alice to Bella (Twilight)

I’ll be the first to admit that I have no experience with relationships. But it just seems logical… a man and woman have to be somewhat equal… as in, one of them can’t always be swooping in and saving the other one. They have to save each other equally. - Bella (Twilight)

It’s not like love at first sight, really. It’s more like… gravity moves. When you see her, suddenly it’s not the earth holding you here anymore. She does. And nothing matters more than her. And you would do anything for her, be anything for her… You become whatever she needs you to be, whether that’s a protector, or a lover, or a friend, or a brother.-Jacob, Eclipse

You’re more important than everyone else. And you’ve given me you. That’s already more than I deserve, and anything else you give me just throws us more out of balance. - Bella

my faaaaaavorite:

The clouds I can handle. But I can’t fight with an eclipse.-Jacob, Eclipse

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

my songs

Hey! Everyone of us has a song for every person, for every detail of our lives. Here’s my list:.

1. current state of mind

(Eraserheads – Wishing wells)I wish I could go back to those fairy book tales
Forget the real world a while and seek the seas of the talking whales

2. self

(Christina Aguilera - Reflections)

Must there be a secret me I’m forced to hide?I won’t pretend that I’m someone else for all time

3. faith

(Lead Me Lord)

Lead me Lord, even though at times I’d rather go alone my wayHelp me take the right direction…

4. parents

(Boyz II Men - A Song For Mama)

You taught me everythingAnd everything you’ve given me, I’ll always keep it inside

5. brother

(Rascal Flatts - My Wish)

My wish for you, is that life becomes all that you want it toYour dreams stay big, your worries stay small

6. ‘tis the season
There's a fruitcake for everybody ,There's a fruitcake for everyone There are b-sides to every story,If you decide to have some fun

7. friends

(Rivermaya - you'll be safe here)
Close your eyes, Dry your tears'

Coz when nothing seems clear, You'll be safe here

(Dionne Warwick - That’s What Friends Are For)

Keep smilin’, keep shinin’Knowin’ you can always count on me, for sure

8. life in general (Neil Diamond - He Aint Heavy, He’s My Brother)

The road is long with many a winding turn

That leads us to who knows where, who knows when

9. the whole world

(Luis Armstrong - It’s A Wonderful World)

And I think to myself….What a wonderful world.

now it's your turn to sing... =)

Sunday, November 9, 2008

"long cut"

Lately, I find myself taking the “long cut” to wherever I wanted to go. I can drive to and from school in 15-20 minutes but these days I take the 30-minute option.

I love driving (as long as there’s no traffic). It’s a great way to spend time with myself. Listen to myself. Psych myself up during times when I feel low. Psych myself even more when I’m raring to do something that day. When I drive, I have my music on and sing my heart out without having to worry that someone might hear or see me. Yes, sometimes I text and answer calls too – I do not recommend those though =)

So what do I do in the “long cut” drive?

My mind wanders when I drive. When driving to school/wherever, I think about what I’m supposed to do for the day. I think about what else I could do for the day. When driving back home, I assess what happened during the day and maybe reach some realizations. Sometimes, I let my imagination wander further and think of “what could be”.

By the time I get to my destination, I usually feel perkier.

I recently got this sms from a friend: “Life is a journey… and in that journey, somehow, we learn all kinds of lessons. Through all that, we laugh, we cry, we stumble and fall, but we get up and move on. That’s life… and everything that goes along with it. It’s an amazing journey, so enjoy the ride!”

Now if only gas prices continue to go down….

LSS: shooting star

heard this song on the radio this afternoon and I can't get it out of my head. share ko lang =)

Are you happy you’re a shooting star

Able to observe so many wishes that we make

Are you happy you’re a shooting star

Able to give wonder to a galaxy of eternal mystery

Inside my mindI’m waiting for you

Inside my mindI’m searching and waiting for you

And maybe I’m lucky to have seen you tonight

Coz I needed something I have always dreamed about

It doesn’t matter if I can go through

I just want my eye inside this tunnel to heaven

And I wish

High and low, find some snow

I need to know from you

Lying low, I have to grow

I need to know from you

Shooting star

Saturday, November 8, 2008

early morning ramblings

i wrote this at 345 this morning but was not able to publish...clicked the wrong button =)

I got home at 3 in the morning after a night out with friends. Early afternoon, I spent time with one of my girl best friends. I then had dinner with my high school barkada. Lastly, I had late night coffee with a dear gay friend.

My girl friend talked about how her week went. I talked about my last relationship.

My high school friends dissected my last relationship. According to one, the agendum for the night was “an autopsy of princess’ dead lovelife”. Of course they knew my ex. After all, we had almost six years together. He met them and they, him. It was fun to know my friends’ take on my last relationship.

My gay friend and I talked about our love lives. We both got out of our long term relationships a few months ago but what differs is that I was the dumpee in mine, he was the dumper in his’.

So we talked. And talked. And talked. And what struck me most was that they had the same question: “"Do you regret anything in your last relationship?"

I know I should say no coz after all “things happen for a reason”. And I believe that. But I’m only human. I am hurting and I think I have the right to feel bad about my failed relationship.

I regret having to invest so much into that relationship. My emotions (extreme love which later on turned to hate). My money (the gifts!). My time (almost six years). I even lost a dear friend.

BUT …I can help my heart heal. I am still earning my own money. I can try to get the friendship back (God help me).

Now time is a different story.

It was almost six years. Six years that I could never take back. And I know it was partly my fault. Truth be told, I was already having doubts about the relationship during our fourth year. But I held on to the thought that “things could still change”. I did not want to let go because I felt that letting go is admitting defeat. Letting go is acknowledging that others were right about my relationship.

I am a very patient person. I am a nurturer. I am very tolerant. To people. To pain.
My friends tell me that as much as that is a good thing, it also backfired on me. I wanted to prove to myself and to everyone that the relationship can withstand anything. I wanted to prove that what we were going through was just a test. I wanted to prove them wrong.

So I stayed. I kept my head down and hustled…and hustled...until I looked up one day and realized he really was not in it with me. So it ended. It turned out wrong. I did not have my happy ending.

I’ve never told my friends the whole story about my failed relationship. We broke up in June and I kept myself mum. I was not ready to admit defeat. I was finally able to tell them in September but I did not really discuss things. Until last night. I figured that if I can openly talk about it, I am probably ready and willing to move on.

I am thankful that my friends are the kind who do not gloat and say “I told you so”. I am glad that they listened patiently and that they helped me see things I’ve overlooked. I am glad that they had nothing but love and support for me.

One of them read me this text message: “Life is too short for regrets. No buts, no ifs, no lies. Love the people who treat you right, forget the ones who don’t. Things happen for a reason. If you see a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody says its easy. But it’s all worth it.”

I know it will still take some time for me. I know the lessons I should learn from this. I will probably write some more about my failed relationship. I will definitely have intermission numbers while getting over my failure. But I will move on.

I will move on.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Someday We'll Know

where: Still listening to music in my room

After dinner, I decided to fix my room and so I put on my ipod and started working. After about 15minutes, "Someday We'll Know" played and the line that got stuck in my head was "if I could ask God just one question...why aren't you here with me?"

I remembered my mom telling me never to ask God why things happen. She used to tell me that whatever happens happens for a reason.

And I believed her. I still do.

But sometimes it's tempting to question God why He lets these things happen to me. To others. Why would He allow so much pain in our lives. Why would He let bad things happen to good people. While typing this post, I chanced upon this:

Common Reasons Why

1. Lack of Fellowship with God and His word

John 15:7 “If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you.

2. Not seeking to Please the Lord

1 John 3:22 “And whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commandments and do those things that are pleasing in His sight.”

3. Unconfessed Sin in One’s Life

1 Peter 3:12 “For the eyes of the LORD are on the righteous, And His ears are open to their prayers; But the face of the LORD is against those who do evil.”

4. Improper Motives

James 4:3 “You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures

5. Not asking in God’s will

1 John 5:14-15 “Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him.”

6. Don’t know how to pray

Luke 11:1 "...Lord, teach us to pray...”

7. Lack of Faith

Hebrews 11:6 “But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.”

8. Misunderstanding of Faith

Mark 11:24 “Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them.” Many do not understand that faith is believing in the reality of things, even though we cannot see them (Heb. 11:1).

9. Wavering faith

James 1:6-7 “But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord;”

10. Failure to apply spiritual Authority

Mark 11:23 “For assuredly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, Be removed and be cast into the sea, and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says.”

(gt forums: posted by sis broken_heart)

I guess it's too easy to ask "why". Asking "why" is like putting the blame on Him. "Why did it happen? The Lord just wanted it to happen. I have no power over it."

I am hurting. It still stings so much and I am soooo tempted to ask God why but I refuse to give in to that temptation.

I am trying so so hard to stand strong.

I am trying so hard to convince myself that these things happen for a reason and tho these reasons are not clear to me yet, they will time.

Saying Goodbye

I keep hearing the song "i love you goodbye" today. I think I've heard it about five times while I was driving (to work, while doing errands, back to work, going home)

The third time I heard the song, I paused. Was the world telling me something? Was the world trying to torture me?

I thought of the time when I had to say goodbye to someone - my someone.

It was five months ago and it's still fresh in my mind. And in my heart.

I know I made the right decision. I thought of reasons to stay and reasons to let go...and I found more reasons to let go. So I did.

Deep in my heart I know it was right to let him go. But why do I miss him so much? Why do I feel so alone? Will my heart get better? Will I get back to the old "me"?

And so I let the tears fall. It's been a long and hard five months. I try to distract myself but when my mind wanders to him, I break into pieces.

Monday, November 3, 2008

visiting mom

i visited my mom this afternoon at the cemetary and told her about me crying over a dance number.

she would have laughed if she were with me.

Sunday, November 2, 2008


i chanced by "so you think you can dance?" finals (i think it's season2) and i saw a contemporary piece by mia something. the music is "home" by bill porter and it was about the reunion of a daughter to her deceased dad.

i dunno what got into me but while watching the 2minute dance i started bawling.

cried my eyes out

i suddenly remembered my mom and how much i miss her. it's been ten years since she died.

suddenly i felt so alone.

so lost.

i keep thinking about how life could have been if she did not die.

would i still be here or would i have gone somewhere else?

would i have made the same decisions i've made since she died?

what could have been?

hai... do i get over my crush? he's so freakin cute! and those dimples!!! oh. my. gawd.

i'm giving myself an overload of my crush so that i'll get tired of him. it's what i usually do and it normally works.

until now. just. can't. get. enough.

i know it's a "suntok sa buwan" but hey, stranger things have happened. hahahah

i better leave the house lest i go back to stalker mode

intermission number =)

i plan to kumod about my dead lovelife but i can't help gushing.

i just saw my crush. on tv. and now i'm looking at his pics in his multiply site.

stalker mode? hahaha.

he's such a cutie! i've never "seen" him like this before and i feel such an idiot for not noticing him before.

i hope hope hope hope he's single and very much available! (as if i have a chance! a girl can dream)

first kumod!

so we broke up in june. the 25th to be exact. all it took was a text message.

whoa. five years (almost six) and it took just a text message to flush it down the drain.

and the day after? he wants to take the "breakup text" back!


i guess it was partly my fault. i've always been so tolerant of him. i made him my world. i made him feel that my life will stop without him by my side.

it was my fault.

i was stupid.

the virgin blogger

so i got into the blogging bandwagon a bit late.

i know i shoud've put up a blog a few years back but i was just not interested. i thought that my posts will be made available for everyone to see and i felt it was an invasion of privacy, plus i was afraid that if people read my posts, they'll think i'm some stupid girl rambling about nonsense stuff.

oh well. now i know better.

so i'm no longer a blog virgn.