a quick trip

i visited my friend, Abby, in Singapore two weeks ago. the timing was good because i had to check out something there, too.


i thought i will be able to think and do my soul-searching there, but alas, it didn't happen. however, i was able to visit a lot of places, see a lot of art (Dali + van Gogh + some contemporary and modern art = me feeling so cultured. hahaha) and made some new friends.





what i've learned in singapore though is that wherever you are, having a family will always be a comforting thing. after all, family does not only mean those people you are genetically-related to. family is whoever you want to include and share your life with.



abby is far from her biological family but she has her diocos family and i am so glad to have met them. they've been nothing but good to me.

my trip was bitin. i hope i can go back there before the year ends.

August has been a whirlwind. But i learned a lot. I felt a lot.

I have never felt this very happy and yet this scared at the same time.

i will write about a lot of things soon.

Aug 12

Initiation is a rite of passage or ceremony marking entrance or acceptance into a group or society. It could also be a formal admission to a community or one of its formal components. In an extended sense it can also signify a transformation in which the initiate is 'reborn' into a new role. In our case, we hold an initiation each year to welcome our freshmen.








credit goes to miss mharvie for the pics. i only got there in the afternoon, wasn't able to witness the morning's affair.

D-day

last april, i had a long chat with someone dear about our lives and everything in between. then we ended up talking about having this "deadline" for our friendship because something's bound to happen on our "deadline". that date is aug 8. that's today. between that day in april and today, i promised i will always include this person in my prayers. and i did. i light a candle every day and pray. this person had two scenarios in mind and once upon a time, i prayed for a particular scenario to happen to this person but it ended up badly; so this time, i said i will not ask for either A or B, instead i will pray for what's best to happen. after all, this person deserves just that. the best.

earlier, i received a message saying "indi ka mamangkot how my day went?" (are you not gonna ask how my day went) and i replied "mahulat lang ko nga manugid ka" (i'm just gonna wait til you tell me). then i got the reply "soooooooooo unlike you"

i guess this person knows me well.

i wanted to know. but truth be told, i am a bit scared. i am scared to lose one more person. everyone seems to be leaving me. some not physically but i get betrayed and eventually i just get left.

but i also told this person that whatever happens, i will be happy because that's what i prayed for. i prayed for happiness. for love. for enlightenment. for peace. for everything that's best for this person. even if it means us being not in each other's lives yet again.

so yes, i wanna know. and i wanna know everything. but i won't force that out of you. i won't badger anymore. if you wanna tell me, fine. just don't start the story and not finish it coz really, it kinda pisses me off (and yes, i know how much you like making me ugtas, but please not just about this? i have enough stress right about now).

just remember that whatever happened, whatever decision you made, you're never alone. you have a lot of people who care for you and who love you. and i thank you. that is an understatement, really. you will always always be in my prayers. i will always light a candle for you. i promise you that.

watch. you must.

these are brilliant!!!!

MOVE from Rick Mereki on Vimeo.

LEARN from Rick Mereki on Vimeo.

oh august!

it's the fifth day and there's sadness and disappointments around. my heart is getting heavier by the day. but i will not give up. still offering everything i'm going through for something that's bigger than how i feel/how things are going.

things will get better. things will get better. things will get better. things will get better.

what happened this july

I WAS ABLE TO SAY NO. finally.
Over the years, i have been such a pushover that thinking about it makes my stomach churn. this July, i was able to say no and though they were petty things, they were exactly the baby steps i needed to take.

Time with loved ones.
I had a lot of time spent with my friends and every time we meet made me realize a lot of things. We have grown up for sure.
Jaja's finally home after about 5 years in the states. My little hinablos has grown up. There will surely be more bonding time this August.

Weddings!!!
i already talked about zsazsa + dandan and tintin+mike. this month, there were two more weddings that took place.

doc and atty - doc got his annulment last year and this july, he finally married atty. in boracay. they have 10+ years between them (he's 42, she's 28) but they're one of the sweetest couples i've met. it's all about having a second chance in love and being happy. i was not there for the wedding but my heart is overflowing with joy knowing that they had a wonderful wonderful day filled with love and happiness.
to and lim - van's a good friend and i haven't met the groom til the wedding day. what i know is that they were classmates and over time, they had their separate love stories. fr rob delivered a homily saying that "God truly has plans for each of us. though they lost contact over the years, He made them find each other, and He made sure they were ready." a lot of us were surprised about the wedding but seeing them together made me realize that indeed the time is finally right for them. and can i just say that fr rob is soooo crush-able? he's hot (ok. lightning might strike me soon)

Future weddings - Jay got his annulment too so i'm sure a wedding will be in the works soon. Gle will wed his lady love this August.

I LOST MY PHONE.
i still can't get over it. i miss my iphone.
now, these two keep me connected to everyone else.


i'm not buying a new phone anytime soon. will wait for a miracle. hahaha

BETRAYAL
i will talk about this when i am ready. let it be enough right now when i say that i have never felt so sad and so disappointed by what happened. Just because I don't get mad it doesn't mean that I don't know how to.

Realizations galore.
I realized a lot of things this July. I wanna write about them but just not now. I am scared and excited about the coming days/weeks/months. I am about to make a big decision. I hope I make the right one.

July was a rollercoaster of emotions for me. Been crying my eyes out most days.

I hope August will be great for us all.

Stay positive, friends!!!!