What Princesskumod Means
You are influential and persuasive. You tend to have a lot of power over people.
Generally, you use your powers for good. You excel at solving other people's problems.
Occasionally, you do get a little selfish and persuade people to do things that are only in your interest.
You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.
You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.
You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.
You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.
You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.
You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.
You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.
You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily.
You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind.
A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable.
You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.
You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.
At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.
You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.
You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.
You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.
You are a seeker of knowledge, and you have learned many things in your life.
You are also a keeper of knowledge - meaning you don't spill secrets or spread gossip.
People sometimes think you're snobby or aloof, but you're just too deep in thought to pay attention to them.
You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way.
And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life.
You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it.
You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated.
You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want.
You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way!
You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life.
You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you.
At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself.
You are balanced, orderly, and organized. You like your ducks in a row.
You are powerful and competent, especially in the workplace.
People can see you as stubborn and headstrong. You definitely have a dominant personality.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Saturday, November 29, 2008
"I'm sorry, just give me a moment to redefine my girlish notions of romance." A Beautiful Mind
"You're supposed to be the leading lady in your own life, for God's sake!" The Holiday
"the reason why we are suffering is not because the love has ended but because it still continues even after the love is over" Il Mare
"when do you move on? You move on when your heart finally understands that there is no turning back" - Lord of the Rings
"...I just don't understand how God would let us meet, if there is no way for us to be together..."- City of Angels
Maybe what I'm saying is, is the world might be evolving the way a person evolves. Right? Like, I mean, me for example. Am I getting worse? Am I improving? I don't know. When I was younger, I was healthier, but I was, uh, whacked with insecurity, you know? Now I'm older and my problems are deeper, but I'm more equipped to handle them. - Before Sunset
Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a fucked-up girl who's lookin' for my own peace of mind; don't assign me yours.- Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
"...for the first time everything seemed clear to me - like one logical progression. It felt like you and I were the greatest plan ever made and I had nothing to do with it. Being with you made me feel that maybe I didn't have to keep planning anymore because it felt like I was actually living. And that for once in my life I wouldn't have to work so hard at being happy." ~Boy and Girls
"Some memories are so painful. To forget is a blessing."- Kung Fu Hustle
"The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that's what you've given me. That's what I hope to give to you forever"- the notebook
"I hope someday somebody wants to hold you for 20 minutes straight and that's all they do. They don't pull away. They don't look at your face. They don't try to kiss you. All they do is wrap you up in their arms and hold on tight, without an ounce of selfishness in it. "The Waitress
And the main reason why I have to do what they ask? It’s because I’m SINGLE!
“You have plenty of time coz you have no kids or a husband to look after when the work day is done.”
“You’re single. Surely you can do this because your time is flexible.”
“You’re single. Now go and do this.”
I love being challenged. I love to prove that I can do things by myself (girrrrrlpowerrr!) but sometimes I feel that my boss/colleagues are not thinking about me, the person (hello! I need a life away from work too!) – just me, the girl who’s single and thus in no position to say no to requests.
I really need to get away from work soon. Let’s go on that trip Nins =)
Friday, November 28, 2008
I got really drunk that night. Never meant to. It was a “just-one-shot” thing which led to a second shot, a third shot…and eventually finishing the whole bottle of tequila.
So what happened? All I know is that I was bitching about my ex, some friends, work and life in general. I still have not seen my drinking buddies so I have yet to hear about my unfortunate blabberings.
On a personal note, if you guys are reading this…
Dan, salamat sa tequila (actually sa boss mo for giving you the tequila..LOL) and being my drinking buddy. It was fun to get drunk with you. Hahahah.
Zsa, thanks for being there. You get me and I really really appreciate that. Too bad you did not join the drinking spree. I know whatever happened in pza, will stay at pza. Hahaha
You two are the best couple ever. Thanks for driving me home and keeping me safe in my drunkenness.
Nins, too bad you weren’t there. You’ve been telling me you wanna see me get drunk. Well, you missed it. ‘twas the first and I don’t think it’s gonna happen again real sooon.
Tomtom, PhiTau, JPD…you missed out guys.
Ay zsa! Yudifoo…Masturyahanay pa ta ha. LOL.
paging the universe to please make things work towards me and him falling in love and living happily ever after (diba sabi ni coehlo “when you want something so bad, the universe conspires in order to get you that something”? in my case it’s a someONE. LOL! )
I definitely need a break. I really need to get away soon.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Oh well..next year ulit. Sigh.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
We do complain. We even complain a lot (just watch the local news). We grumble just about anything and everything. Sometimes I think that we are naturally born whiners and gripers.
One dictionary defines complaining as "an expression of pain, dissatisfaction, or resentment." Why say it once when we can indulge in our misery?
Me? I love to whine. I think it’s therapeutic. But I only do that when I’m with my closest friends coz I know they’ll understand. And my friends love to complain too. It’s our hobby. We complain just about anything and usually end up laughing.
Seriously, we should complain if necessary. After all, we Filipinos are good at that. We’ll just have to squeak and squawk at the right person, right place and right time.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Sunday, November 16, 2008
What annoys me during these gatherings is the never-ending asking of “why are you still single?”, “Don’t you have marriage plans?” “When will you give your dad an apo?”. I’ve been asked those questions for four years now – as if being single is a crime.
I understand why they’re asking that because they knew my ex boyfriend and I believe they liked him too. There are even pasalubongs for him. They just did not know that my love life has been non-existent since June.
So I told them that he and I broke up. Another annoying thing happened. I heard “oooh”s and “aaah”s and “aaaawwwwww”s. oh.my.gawd.
They then asked why and I just gave them the short cut version of my break up: “it just did not work out.” Of course they were not contented. They had to know the long version. I told them a little bit and another dissection/autopsy was performed. And then the clichés came: “if he’s meant for you, he’ll come back”, “it’s not you, it’s him”, “his loss, sweetie”, “hay naku, marami pa dyan!” (agree ako sa last two! J )
My father was listening all the while my aunts and cousins were fussing over my break-up. He was smiling the whole time. I think he knew how I was feeling (pissed and amused at the same time). It was fun to see my aunts and cousins fussing over my breakup. It was like a bad teenage drama scene.
I know what my aunts and cousins were thinking: I’m getting “old” and I have no one. You see, most of my cousins got married in their early 20s. They now have plenty (3-5, yes that’s plenty) of kids, some are even in high school already. I am the second youngest girl among us cousins and since I reached 22, they’ve been looking forward to my marriage.
I appreciate their concern. Honestly, I do. I just don’t appreciate the pity. They may not say it but I can feel it.
I don’t like people pitying me. I have enough insecurities already and people pitying me are not helping one bit.
So I had to be brave and smile though everything.
Now…what to do with the pasalubongs =)
Thursday, November 13, 2008
I won't comment on the books but I'll share my favorite quotes :
The ultimate doom: telling Renée. Early marriage was higher up on her blacklist than boiling live puppies. --Bella
If I don’t have a better sense of equilibrium in my next life, I’m demanding a refund. --Bella
You can talk when you’re not being stupid. - Jacob
Her fashion sense hasn’t improved as much as her balance. --Alice on Bella
I don’t know… I’ve already mangled the headboard in the other room beyond repair – maybe if we limit the destruction to one area of the house, Esme might invite us back someday. --Edward to Bella
"Make Bella see sense? What universe do you live in?" --Jacob
Hey, do you know what you call a blonde with a brain? A golden retriever. --Jacob to Rosalie
Mom dropped him a lot when he was a baby. --Leah
So it’s still standing? I would’ve thought you two had knocked it to rubble by now. What were you doing last night? Discussing the national debt? --Emmett to Edward & Bella
“But I am a werewolf,” he said unwillingly. “And he is a vampire,” he added with obvious revulsion.“And I’m a Virgo!” I shouted, exasperated.- Jacob & Bella
My decision was made, made before I'd ever consciously chosen, and I was committed to seeing it through. Because there was nothing more terrifying to me, more excruciating, than the thought of turning away from him. It was an impossibility. -Twilight
When life offers you a dream so far beyond any of your expectations, its not reasonable to grieve when it coms to an end. -Twilight
It was nice to be alone, not to have to smile and look pleased; a relief to stare dejectedly out the window at the sheeting rain and let just a few tears escape.Bella Swan, Twilight
For almost ninety years I’ve walked among my kind, and yours… all the time thinking I was complete in myself, not realizing what I was seeking. And not finding anything, because you weren’t alive yet. --Edward to Bella (Twilight)
It’s been almost a century that Edward’s been alone. Now he’s found you. You can’t see the changes that we see, we who have been with him for so long. Do you think any of us want to look into his eyes for the next hundred years if he loses you? --Alice to Bella (Twilight)
I’ll be the first to admit that I have no experience with relationships. But it just seems logical… a man and woman have to be somewhat equal… as in, one of them can’t always be swooping in and saving the other one. They have to save each other equally. - Bella (Twilight)
It’s not like love at first sight, really. It’s more like… gravity moves. When you see her, suddenly it’s not the earth holding you here anymore. She does. And nothing matters more than her. And you would do anything for her, be anything for her… You become whatever she needs you to be, whether that’s a protector, or a lover, or a friend, or a brother.-Jacob, Eclipse
You’re more important than everyone else. And you’ve given me you. That’s already more than I deserve, and anything else you give me just throws us more out of balance. - Bella
The clouds I can handle. But I can’t fight with an eclipse.-Jacob, Eclipse
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Hey! Everyone of us has a song for every person, for every detail of our lives. Here’s my list:.
1. current state of mind
(Eraserheads – Wishing wells)I wish I could go back to those fairy book tales
Forget the real world a while and seek the seas of the talking whales
(Christina Aguilera - Reflections)
Must there be a secret me I’m forced to hide?I won’t pretend that I’m someone else for all time
(Lead Me Lord)
Lead me Lord, even though at times I’d rather go alone my wayHelp me take the right direction…
(Boyz II Men - A Song For Mama)
You taught me everythingAnd everything you’ve given me, I’ll always keep it inside
(Rascal Flatts - My Wish)
My wish for you, is that life becomes all that you want it toYour dreams stay big, your worries stay small
6. ‘tis the season
There's a fruitcake for everybody ,There's a fruitcake for everyone There are b-sides to every story,If you decide to have some fun
(Rivermaya - you'll be safe here)
Close your eyes, Dry your tears'
Coz when nothing seems clear, You'll be safe here
(Dionne Warwick - That’s What Friends Are For)
Keep smilin’, keep shinin’Knowin’ you can always count on me, for sure
8. life in general (Neil Diamond - He Aint Heavy, He’s My Brother)
The road is long with many a winding turn
That leads us to who knows where, who knows when
9. the whole world
(Luis Armstrong - It’s A Wonderful World)
And I think to myself….What a wonderful world.
now it's your turn to sing... =)
Sunday, November 9, 2008
I love driving (as long as there’s no traffic). It’s a great way to spend time with myself. Listen to myself. Psych myself up during times when I feel low. Psych myself even more when I’m raring to do something that day. When I drive, I have my music on and sing my heart out without having to worry that someone might hear or see me. Yes, sometimes I text and answer calls too – I do not recommend those though =)
So what do I do in the “long cut” drive?
My mind wanders when I drive. When driving to school/wherever, I think about what I’m supposed to do for the day. I think about what else I could do for the day. When driving back home, I assess what happened during the day and maybe reach some realizations. Sometimes, I let my imagination wander further and think of “what could be”.
By the time I get to my destination, I usually feel perkier.
I recently got this sms from a friend: “Life is a journey… and in that journey, somehow, we learn all kinds of lessons. Through all that, we laugh, we cry, we stumble and fall, but we get up and move on. That’s life… and everything that goes along with it. It’s an amazing journey, so enjoy the ride!”
Now if only gas prices continue to go down….
Are you happy you’re a shooting star
Able to observe so many wishes that we make
Are you happy you’re a shooting star
Able to give wonder to a galaxy of eternal mystery
Inside my mindI’m waiting for you
Inside my mindI’m searching and waiting for you
And maybe I’m lucky to have seen you tonight
Coz I needed something I have always dreamed about
It doesn’t matter if I can go through
I just want my eye inside this tunnel to heaven
And I wish
High and low, find some snow
I need to know from you
Lying low, I have to grow
I need to know from you
Saturday, November 8, 2008
I got home at 3 in the morning after a night out with friends. Early afternoon, I spent time with one of my girl best friends. I then had dinner with my high school barkada. Lastly, I had late night coffee with a dear gay friend.
My girl friend talked about how her week went. I talked about my last relationship.
My high school friends dissected my last relationship. According to one, the agendum for the night was “an autopsy of princess’ dead lovelife”. Of course they knew my ex. After all, we had almost six years together. He met them and they, him. It was fun to know my friends’ take on my last relationship.
My gay friend and I talked about our love lives. We both got out of our long term relationships a few months ago but what differs is that I was the dumpee in mine, he was the dumper in his’.
So we talked. And talked. And talked. And what struck me most was that they had the same question: “"Do you regret anything in your last relationship?"
I know I should say no coz after all “things happen for a reason”. And I believe that. But I’m only human. I am hurting and I think I have the right to feel bad about my failed relationship.
I regret having to invest so much into that relationship. My emotions (extreme love which later on turned to hate). My money (the gifts!). My time (almost six years). I even lost a dear friend.
BUT …I can help my heart heal. I am still earning my own money. I can try to get the friendship back (God help me).
Now time is a different story.
It was almost six years. Six years that I could never take back. And I know it was partly my fault. Truth be told, I was already having doubts about the relationship during our fourth year. But I held on to the thought that “things could still change”. I did not want to let go because I felt that letting go is admitting defeat. Letting go is acknowledging that others were right about my relationship.
I am a very patient person. I am a nurturer. I am very tolerant. To people. To pain.
My friends tell me that as much as that is a good thing, it also backfired on me. I wanted to prove to myself and to everyone that the relationship can withstand anything. I wanted to prove that what we were going through was just a test. I wanted to prove them wrong.
So I stayed. I kept my head down and hustled…and hustled...until I looked up one day and realized he really was not in it with me. So it ended. It turned out wrong. I did not have my happy ending.
I’ve never told my friends the whole story about my failed relationship. We broke up in June and I kept myself mum. I was not ready to admit defeat. I was finally able to tell them in September but I did not really discuss things. Until last night. I figured that if I can openly talk about it, I am probably ready and willing to move on.
I am thankful that my friends are the kind who do not gloat and say “I told you so”. I am glad that they listened patiently and that they helped me see things I’ve overlooked. I am glad that they had nothing but love and support for me.
One of them read me this text message: “Life is too short for regrets. No buts, no ifs, no lies. Love the people who treat you right, forget the ones who don’t. Things happen for a reason. If you see a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody says its easy. But it’s all worth it.”
I know it will still take some time for me. I know the lessons I should learn from this. I will probably write some more about my failed relationship. I will definitely have intermission numbers while getting over my failure. But I will move on.
I will move on.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
After dinner, I decided to fix my room and so I put on my ipod and started working. After about 15minutes, "Someday We'll Know" played and the line that got stuck in my head was "if I could ask God just one question...why aren't you here with me?"
I remembered my mom telling me never to ask God why things happen. She used to tell me that whatever happens happens for a reason.
And I believed her. I still do.
But sometimes it's tempting to question God why He lets these things happen to me. To others. Why would He allow so much pain in our lives. Why would He let bad things happen to good people. While typing this post, I chanced upon this:
Common Reasons Why
1. Lack of Fellowship with God and His word
John 15:7 “If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you.
2. Not seeking to Please the Lord
1 John 3:22 “And whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commandments and do those things that are pleasing in His sight.”
3. Unconfessed Sin in One’s Life
1 Peter 3:12 “For the eyes of the LORD are on the righteous, And His ears are open to their prayers; But the face of the LORD is against those who do evil.”
4. Improper Motives
James 4:3 “You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures
5. Not asking in God’s will
1 John 5:14-15 “Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him.”
6. Don’t know how to pray
Luke 11:1 "...Lord, teach us to pray...”
7. Lack of Faith
Hebrews 11:6 “But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.”
8. Misunderstanding of Faith
Mark 11:24 “Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them.” Many do not understand that faith is believing in the reality of things, even though we cannot see them (Heb. 11:1).
9. Wavering faith
James 1:6-7 “But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord;”
10. Failure to apply spiritual Authority
Mark 11:23 “For assuredly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, Be removed and be cast into the sea, and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says.”
(gt forums: posted by sis broken_heart)
I guess it's too easy to ask "why". Asking "why" is like putting the blame on Him. "Why did it happen? The Lord just wanted it to happen. I have no power over it."
I am hurting. It still stings so much and I am soooo tempted to ask God why but I refuse to give in to that temptation.
I am trying so so hard to stand strong.
I am trying so hard to convince myself that these things happen for a reason and tho these reasons are not clear to me yet, they will be....in time.
The third time I heard the song, I paused. Was the world telling me something? Was the world trying to torture me?
I thought of the time when I had to say goodbye to someone - my someone.
It was five months ago and it's still fresh in my mind. And in my heart.
I know I made the right decision. I thought of reasons to stay and reasons to let go...and I found more reasons to let go. So I did.
Deep in my heart I know it was right to let him go. But why do I miss him so much? Why do I feel so lost....so alone? Will my heart get better? Will I get back to the old "me"?
And so I let the tears fall. It's been a long and hard five months. I try to distract myself but when my mind wanders to him, I break into pieces.
Monday, November 3, 2008
Sunday, November 2, 2008
i dunno what got into me but while watching the 2minute dance i started bawling.
cried my eyes out
i suddenly remembered my mom and how much i miss her. it's been ten years since she died.
suddenly i felt so alone.
i keep thinking about how life could have been if she did not die.
would i still be here or would i have gone somewhere else?
would i have made the same decisions i've made since she died?
what could have been?
i'm giving myself an overload of my crush so that i'll get tired of him. it's what i usually do and it normally works.
until now. just. can't. get. enough.
i know it's a "suntok sa buwan" but hey, stranger things have happened. hahahah
i better leave the house lest i go back to stalker mode
i just saw my crush. on tv. and now i'm looking at his pics in his multiply site.
stalker mode? hahaha.
he's such a cutie! i've never "seen" him like this before and i feel such an idiot for not noticing him before.
i hope hope hope hope he's single and very much available! (as if i have a chance! a girl can dream)
whoa. five years (almost six) and it took just a text message to flush it down the drain.
and the day after? he wants to take the "breakup text" back!
i guess it was partly my fault. i've always been so tolerant of him. i made him my world. i made him feel that my life will stop without him by my side.
it was my fault.
i was stupid.
i know i shoud've put up a blog a few years back but i was just not interested. i thought that my posts will be made available for everyone to see and i felt it was an invasion of privacy, plus i was afraid that if people read my posts, they'll think i'm some stupid girl rambling about nonsense stuff.
oh well. now i know better.
so i'm no longer a blog virgn.