Sunday, May 29, 2011

my very busy week part2

went to asilo de molo for my monthly visit.

visited my other "nanay" at mom's old school. two and a half hours went by visiting my mom's school brought back a lot of memories and a lot of tears, too.

helped the happy couple with their preparations and even heard some good news: G's getting married to the love of his life and J's annulment was finally granted, and he's the best man in G's wedding (which, btw, is about a month after dan's+zsa's wedding).

Pirates of the Carribean + Moon + Sbucks date with big lil bro. we were the last car left at sm's parking lot!

graduation!!!! happy happy

cle's back home from cali. we went out, ate a lot and went to... rained though so we ended up with what we do best...having coffee at midnight and talking til around 3am!

aiko's bridal thingy. just went for lunch but it was soooo nice catching up with them.

and now i'm back to 39.2 degrees celsius.
still have a lot of things to do this week though. plus, a trip to save my summer!!!!

Thursday, May 26, 2011

dear toots,
please don't lose hope. your sacrifices will be fruitful in due time. sometimes we really do not get what we want but i believe that there will always be a reason for things not going our way. and most of the time, if they don't go as planned, something better comes along. something that will make us stronger. happier. something that's what's truly best for us.
and sometimes, this best thing comes unexpectedly. you just have to have an open mind and an open heart.

i know it's easier said than done but you just have to be strong for now.

you have eeva. you have me and ate jac and ate bambi. even kuya bim. you have our little OMC family. so never feel alone. we all love you.

here's a video and the lyrics of the last song we agreed we liked. we have so much to talk about, little brother.

You touch these tired eyes of mine
And map my face out line by line
And somehow growing old feels fine
I listen close for I'm not smart
You wrap your thoughts in works of art
And they're hanging on the walls of my heart

I may not have the softest touch
I may not say the words as such
And though I may not look like much
I'm yours
And though my edges may be rough
I never feel I'm quite enough
It may not seem like very much
But I'm yours

You healed these scars over time
Embraced my soul
You loved my mind
You're the only angel in my life
The day news came my best friend died
My knees went week and you saw me cry
Say I'm still the soldier in your eyes

I may not have the softest touch
I may not say the words as such
And though I may not look like much
I'm yours
And though my edges may be rough
I never feel I'm quite enough
It may not seem like very much
But I'm yours

(powerhuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuug) kapatid =)

Wednesday, May 25, 2011


meeting number 1: working lunch with tintin and intsik

meeting number 2: went to suppliers and then met up with organizer to finalize plans over

dr. noe called and reminded (reprimanded? hahaha) me about our appointment.

i got these!!!! (lab tests galore....i need someone to hold my hand when i go to the lab)

meeting number 3: paperwork

meeting number 4: working dinner

and then....we ended with

tomorrow: more meetings!!! plus ISAT and asilo de molo and hopefully dinner + movie with big little brother.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

for now

right now, it's

my head aches but i need to go to

when i would really rather

while listening to

so i hope it's not

so i can finish what needs to be done (3 meetings, doctor's appt, paperwork, errands) and go back home and get some rest.

Monday, May 23, 2011

this is for my new friend Hanna

you told me you read my blog so this post is for you.

i've been in two shitty relationships before and their aftermath was terrible but... i still hope for love. i still want to have that someone who'll be my partner (in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer...hehehe), my bestfriend, my lover. mine.

after hearing your story, this is what i can tell you:

Relationships are scary. It's like playing a game-- a gamble. I remember the quote from the movie If Only by Jennifer Love Hewitt, "They say there's always someone in a relationship who loves more." It's true. To fall in love is to become vulnerable. You take your heart out from your chest, hand it to someone, and let them take care of it. Blind trust. That's what falling in love is.
You have to fully trust someone that they won't turn around and stab your heart.Love is about risk. Love is so magical & wonderful, but it is also scary & risky & stomach churning. The rewards are enormous -- when it's good, it's like a kingdom full of treasures --but there are dangers, too. Like... what if you aren't accepted when you tell the truth about who you are & what you want? What if you're as real as you can be & you get rejected? What if you get cheated on? What if you find out you're not the only wo/man in his/her life? All of these things can happen & more. Which is why love, the real stuff, not the silly, I'm here-until-someone-better-comes-along, "I-love-you" "Oh-yeah-I-love-you-too" stuff, requires bravery & courage & strength. People who really love, who really put their hearts out there & take the chance, should be awarded medals, because it's hard. EVERYONE gets hurt in love. Everyone. You might not necessarily get dumped or cheated on, but sometimes things don't go how you wish they would, & that hurts. So much. When you make an emotional investment in someone & they don't return it? Yeah, that sucks big time. It makes you sad & angry & want to swear off lovers forever. But you have to pull yourself up & move onwards, because if you don't risk anything, you risk even more.

(and those who play, should be shot and be given a slow death.)

Sunday, May 22, 2011

i learned something today

i can be quite thick-skinned. i cry a lot at the slightest provocation but i can really control myself if i want to. i realized i can be pretty cold too. hambal pa gani ni ma'am rose: "grabe ka man ta ba. if i was in your place, while ____ was saying those not so nice things about you, i would have fled the stage and cried my eyes out. but stood there and took everything in. smiling. and then you gave your rebuttal with a happy birthday song for ____ to boot! "

i dunno if that's a compliment but i kinda like it!

(and yeah, i cried after i introduced the speaker...but that's away from everyone's line of vision)

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

it's not that i don't know how to fight back. i do. i just choose to fix things properly - without shouting, without belittling someone else, without fighting. as much as i can, i want to just talk things over. i can attack the problem point by point naman without all those hassles.

there are battles which can be won by being soft-spoken. i believe and know that for sure. been there, done that.

my new favorite!

someone got me into this. hahaha. naaaaaaaan!

Friday, May 20, 2011

brain farts kay kadugay sang erflen

sometimes, you have to feel completely worthless in order to learn what grace truly is.

Relationships are like sharing a book. It doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Don't you hate it when you feel like your gonna cry but you can't cause you don't want anyone to see you crying? --> I never want anyone to have the benefit of seeing me cry but sometimes I just wanna bawl.

I'm just human. I'm fragile. I'm not perfect. Sometimes I hide sadness with my smile. But that makes me learn how to struggle in this life.

In life you learn lessons, and sometimes you learn them the hard way, and sometimes you learn too late.

New things cannot come where there is no room. --> my aunt told me this when i had too much "ex" clutter in my room. she was right. as soon as i got rid of everything from my ex, i felt lighter and ready for new things to come (which did, btw)

The past cannot be changed, forgotten, edited, or erased. It can only be accepted. --> what i don't like about the past is the feeling of regret whenever i think of the time i could have spent doing something awesome than wasting it on a useless piece of shiz.

Love is like a puzzle. When you're in love, all the pieces fit but when your heart gets broken, it takes a while to get everything back together. --> and sometimes some pieces get lost and that takes another length of time to be found.

They make it look so easy. Connection with another human being. It's like no one told them.. it's the hardest thing in the world.

If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one. Because if you truly loved the first one, you wouldn’t love another one.

More people would learn from their mistakes if they weren't so busy denying them.

Sometimes you just have to step forward, and move on.. no questions, no doubts, no looking back.. Just move on.

Distance doesn't ruin a relationship, doubts do.

Sometimes things happen that you don't understand.'s all part of a bigger plan.

When we lose one blessing, another is often most unexpectedly given in its place.

When one door of happiness closes, another opens but often we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the door that just opened for us

Some people use Love as an excuse to put up with shit that you shouldn't.

It no longer makes sense to you to be "Second" in one peron's life, when you're good enough to be "First" in someone else's.

The silliest moments are what makes the best memories.

I hate those moments right before you go to sleep, when you are forced to think about all the things you tried so hard to forget.

brain farts in nagsasa part 2

I can be smart and stupid at the same time. (hambal gani, "you are the most stupid smartest girl i know")

Sometimes just the act of sharing a painful secret can relieve some of the pain. For a very long time, I kept it in the farthest corner of my mind and my heart. I surprised myself when I blurted it out the week before (and while doing something trivial, like plantsa-izing hair). I dunno what got into me but it just came out and hearing it for the first time from my own mouth tugged at my heartstrings. It came back and it hurt again. So much. But after a while, the pain subsided and it was gone. I guess I just needed the right person to confess it to. I know it's the reason for one of my issues but after hearing it out loud, it isn't as painful anymore.

It's a horrible feeling to lose faith in someone. It leaves you lost and wondering. It makes you question whether you knew that person at all, or whether what you had was for real.

Everyone is a friend, until they prove otherwise.

I need to learn to say no, I'm fed up of being taken advantage of. This is one thing I really need to work on.

I wonder if others have felt like they have no control over their life and how they went pass this.

I wonder if can one get to the future if the (his/her) past is present.

Just when we thought we are matured enough, unexpected events would occur to make us realize we still have lots of growing up to do. I know I do.

Sometimes there are no explanations & all you have to do is follow your heart and hope you made the right decision. Sadly, mine din't go well.

They say the universe has a great sense of humor. That sometimes having your dreams come true can feel like a nightmare.

A woman can be your best friend, worst enemy, the girl of your dreams or the bitch you're scared of. It all depends on how you treat her.

They say every action has an equal and opposite reaction, and once something is set on motion, it can't help up to build a momentum

Eventually, one of two things will happen. He will realize you're worth it, or you'll realize that he isn't. In my hahaha

There will always be a choice. In the end, I needed to make a choice and I chose me.

No me called me a reserved person before, except my mom. and now you.

It's not always because of unavoidable circumstances. Sometimes, it may be due to unforseen circumstances (like the boat having a problem and had us waiting for about 4 hrs? good thing we had kuya larry).

I will never look at escalators and elevators the same way again.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

nagsasa pics

credit goes to manong macoy endonila.

will write some more later =)

Monday, May 16, 2011

brain farts in nagsasa: part 1

Sometimes you just gotta SMILE! It's a lot easier than explaining why you're not!

I'm proud of my heart. It's been played, stabbed, cheated, burned and broken, but somehow still works. And it still wants to love.

Some people make your life better by walking into it while other people will make your life better by simply walking out of it.

Everyone comes into your life for a reason; some good, some bad. They shape, form and break us. But in the end they make us who we are.

Being single is a good feeling, no drama or heartaches. On the other hand, it gets lonely and you miss that feeling of being taken. (been having that feeling lately)

Life is too short to stress yourself with people who don't even deserve to be an issue in your life.

As we grow up, we realize it becomes less important to have a ton of friends, and more important to have real ones.

Its not easy, is it? Fighting for something you could have had and wondering if maybe it's already too late.

Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it's a brighter day.

An "ex" is called an "ex" because its a "ex"ample of who you shouldn't be with in the future.

The best date is with someone who can take you anywhere without touching anything but your heart.

A person hates u for 1 of 3 reasons. 1.They wanna be you 2.They hate themselves 3.They see you as a threat

sometimes we learn something new about the past that changes everything we know about the present

There's always some truth behind: Just kidding, Knowledge behind: I don't know, Emotion behind: I don't care & Pain behind: It's okay

The bad things in life open your eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention before.

I HATE it when people only talk to me when they need something, I'm not stupid. I can tell if I'm being used or not.

Some people are real. Some people are good. Some people are fake & some people are real good at being fake

Be careful who you open up to, only a few people actually care, the rest are just curious.

I ignore texts. I let the phone ring. It's nothing personal, but people need to realize that sometimes I just don't wanna talk.

I love late night conversations with people i love.

Yes, I use too many smileys when I type, but I dont care!

I love it when I smile at someone and they smile back at me.

I hate when I look horrible in a group picture and the person that looks good refuses to delete it.

I play with my phone when I'm waiting for someone so I don't look stupid.

I don`t have bad handwriting. I have my own Font.

When I delete someone from the contacts in my phone, its feels like I'm deleting that person from existence.

It's not the song that makes me cry, it's the person that comes to my mind every time I hear it playing.

I honestly think that elderly people are adorable, and when I see old couples holding hands I can only hope that one day that will be me.

A hug always makes things just a little bit better.

(pic c/o tata vinoi...lamats!)


Love is far different from commitment. Love is a gift which anyone can have while commitment is a sacrifice for love that not everyone is capable of.
I find it sad that the word commitment is enclosed with duties and responsibilities that makes it heavy, which makes people afraid. They may be ready for love but not commitment. Come to think of it, isn't love enough to make a commitment? Or isn't commitment enough to show that one loves?

Sunday, May 1, 2011


"A person who is INSECURE lacks confidence in their own value, and one or more of their capabilities, lacks trust in themselves or others, or has fears that a present positive state is temporary, and will let them down and cause them loss or distress by "going wrong" in the future. This is a common trait, which only differs in degree between people.

Insecurity may help to cause shyness, paranoia and social withdrawal, or alternatively it may encourage compensatory behaviors such as arrogance, aggression, or bullying, in some cases

Insecurity has many effects in a person's life. There are several levels of it. It nearly always causes some degree of isolation as a typically insecure person withdraws from people to some extent. The greater the insecurity, the higher the degree of isolation becomes. Insecurity is often rooted in a person's childhood years. Like offense and bitterness, it grows in layered fashion, often becoming an immobilizing force that sets a limiting factor in the person's life. Insecurity robs by degrees; the degree to which it is entrenched equals the degree of power it has in the person's life."