Saturday, April 21, 2012

Thursday, April 19, 2012

"I was advised by an older doctor that if you love people so much and you don’t want to lose them, never ever show them the too much part, everybody takes advantage of it. I can't say it works for everyone but maybe you should think about that too. Because you, my dear, love too much. Everyone can see it, and you get taken advantage of. That's what your dad is really worried about. He knows how strong you are but he's your dad. He can't bear to see you get hurt again, especially with this one coz he knows there's nothing that can change your mind about this guy. Let's hope this one won't screw you up coz I can see that you've already made up your mind about him."

- what my psychiatrist aunt said earlier this afternoon when i visited her clinic while waiting for my dad to finish his check-up with his diabetologist

Wednesday, April 18, 2012


i went away from home for about a month and where i went, we had no tv (which was good coz i was able to get a loooot of things done). so of course, as soon as i got home i caught up with my favorite shows and even watched the reruns.

one of those i watched was Glee and in this particular episode Coach Beiste was asked out by Cougar, the football agent. She thought it was a joke and she roared with anger as she replied:

“But I’m not a pretty girl. I don’t have the kind of face that a pretty girl has.”

to which Cougar replied:
“Well, that’s good because I don’t date girls. I date women. Beautiful women, like you.”

kilig much.

Ever since I was a little girl, I really haven't felt pretty enough. I've always felt unnoticed. I've always felt that I do not have my friends' "effortless good looks".I've always felt that I was not deserving of that word.

And then I realized I don't want to be pretty anymore. I want to be beautiful. I want to possess something that lasts, even if all the pretty is beaten out of me. Beautiful has sturdy roots that run deep into the earth, building the tallest, strongest trees. I want people to smile when they look at me, with or without my lipstick on, because they associate me with something more than can be seen. I want to be beautiful and I think that I could be. I think – somewhere deep down – that I am.


and while we're talking about Glee, i sure want Ricky Martin back!

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

i'm not scared anymore

Monday, April 16, 2012

i wanna go!!!

this is in Sagada where my aunt and her family went last month.

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Mt. Pulag

before the climb

slowly but surely..or rather slowly but slowly

this little girl went with us. she even got to the campsite before I did!

taking a break

it rained!

so cold!

the trek down

Monday, April 9, 2012

Holy Week

This week was full of ups and downs, happy and sad moments. This week was full of questions and of realizations.

I still don't have all the answers to my questions.
I still feel scared. A lot more scared.


I'm glad I'm where I am today.
I wanna stay here some more.
And one day soon, when everything gets fixed and everything falls into place, I would really love to be here permanently.

Faith. Hope. Love.
I have that right now.

Happy Easter, everyone!

Friday, April 6, 2012

my Good Friday realization

So maybe I really am the girl who will forever not get what she wants.

am so scared and so sad right now.