Friday, December 31, 2010

part 2


I decided to start new habits and get rid of bad ones. So far, so good. i hope i can keep them for another year.


I accompanied the interns for their manu duties and it was a blast. learned a lot. looking forward to next year's schedule!



lots of kilig moments this year. not for me though but hey, the kilig-ness is contagious! =)


There are times when I feel lost and this year, this feeling came every so often that I sometimes feel scared. I don’t know if what I’m doing is the right thing for me. I don’t know if the decisions I make are the right ones. I don’t know a lot of things.


monsters are not necessarily those we imagine them to be like - ugly, scary. most monsters are those who look beautiful on the outside and yet are reeking with filth inside. i met a lot of these monsters this year, some even pretended to be my friends.

New experiences

This year brought a lot of new experiences for me. I went to Boracay and tried stuff for the first time. I attended a conference all by myself (I was first hesitant at first because I was told I will be traveling with a coteacher but due to budget constraints, I was the only one allowed to attend it. I got pissed but it was a nice experience). I traveled to new places alone (and got lost a few times but hey, chalk it up to experience!). There were just a lot of firsts this year and though not everything was easy, I’m glad to have been through those experiences.


being online has helped me with all the stuff i've been dealing with.


I took a more active role as adviser of our student publication and it was quite tough but I am enjoying it and I am learning from it.

Quarterlife crisis

this has been going for a few years already. hahaha.


i attended quite a number of reunions this year and each one was a happy event with lots of memories made.

Simbang gabi

I finished another round of simbang gabi this year. Yay!!!

Teaching load

During the first sem I taught PharInfo, Bioethics, PharOr. Not really new subjects to me but there were a lot of challenges esp with PharInfo. My schedule was ok except for my Saturday classes. This second sem, I handle PBSci. Not new to me as well but this time I was given both the lecture and the laboratory classes when I used to just handle the lab classes. Tough. I feel like a student again, reading and reading and doubting myself if what I am doing is correct. I also do not like my schedule. 7am-5pm every freaking day with a 3-hr break in between. I hate my broken schedule. I am still learning to cope with it.




I attended quite a number of weddings this year and will be attending more next year. Seems to me that getting married is the “in” thing for people my age. Therefore, I am not “in”. Hahaha.

Xs (exes)

2010 reintroduced me to my exes. i don't get that ugly feeling whenever i think of them anymore but i honestly don't wanna be friends with them. i have enough friends already, thank you very much.

Young Pharmacy Group

planning to start this officially in 2011 but seeds were planted in 2010


That’s what I surely need more of.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

My 2010 Alphabet part 1

This year came so fast that I barely had time to breathe and reflect on all the happenings. It has been a cycle of ups and downs, highs and lows. I thought of doing this a few weeks back but I was finally able to sit down and really think about this just now. So here goes part 1.

Apothecarian council

I’ve always admitted that I am an Epsilon girl but ever since I started in San Ag, the Apo was given to me and I have always welcomed the advisorship with open arms. This year, I was given the chance to be with the Epsilon but I chose to stick with the Apo because the council is already like family and this year’s lineup was something I am very happy about. And I was not disappointed. They all hit it off well. There were a lot of challenges that faced the council but despite the glitches, they pulled off an amazing Pharmacy week which made everyone happy and proud to be part of the Pharmacy family. I am really really proud of them.

B Boracay

Last year, I went on a trip to Tuguegarao with some friends from graduate school and this year was my turn to bring them here. We went to Boracay and it was a helluva vacation! Plus, they stayed in the city for a few more days after Boracay, thus the vacation was extended. I’ve always held on to the idea that we learn more when we travel and we get to know persons better when we live with them. These were all satisfied and I am just too happy to say that I have wonderful memories with these friends who I’ve gotten close with and I hope for more memories to be made with them.


Christmas is and will always be my favorite holiday. It brings out the little girl in me. I love buying and wrapping presents. I love fixing our tree and seeing just about everywhere all decked out – shining shimmering, splendid! Most of all, I love it that Christmas brings together friends and family members. So far, I’ve been to a few reunions/parties and they were all happy events. Christmas is magic. This year I spent Christmas just with my boys. We had our usual Christmas thing and it was a great one. I got some pretty good gifts too!


This year took a lot of people I know. I lost two students, a neighbor, three friends’ dads, my uncle and my lolo (who even died on the same day!).

Estafa, anyone?

Late this year, my close/childhood friends and I found out that we were duped by a childhood friend. We have a little business over the past three years or so and everything was going great until this year. Since she was a childhood friend, we trusted her with our money but then she just disappeared. And then we found out that she took more money from some of our other acquaintances. My friends and I lost a huge amount of our hard earned money but apart from that, I lost my friend. I never thought this would happen to our group. We’re like family and nobody shits on family.

Friends and family

I made some friends this year and some I’ve gotten closer to over these months. Some friends also went home this year and it was so nice catching up with them. True, we have our social networking sites but still nothing beats having that other person sit across you and talking over a lot of topics.

On the other hand, our family had its ups and downs this year. We lost in the elections but it was a blessing in disguise because now the family can focus on just being one big happy family. As my uncle said, we can always help other people even if we’re not in power anymore. We also lost some relatives but we had new additions to the family as well.


This year I decided to go green along with my family. We’re not giving up meat (shoeskow indi pwede!) but we took steps to making our home and our lives a little greener. It wasn’t that hard as I thought and I hope to continue this effort through the years to come.

Part 2 to follow soon =)

Friday, December 24, 2010

misa de gallo

every year i attend the misa de gallo and usually i go to nine different churches for each day. this year, however, i limited my church goings to two: my school's chapel (about 15mins drive away) and the church near my house.
i guess this was a better option because the sermons were "connected" more rather than when i go to different churches. each year, the gospels are the same but the realizations are different/added upon.

so what have i learned?


we are all connected in God. people may not know that, people may not like that but we are one family. we are God's family and may we never cut that off.
Do not let go of God even when others have. Hold God with one hand, grip the other person with your other hand.

letting God work himself in and through us.

Why is it so hard to listen to God? To know what he wants for us? Easy. It's because people are spoiled. When someone is spoiled, it makes it harder for the person to listen to someone else. A spoiled person enjoys immediate gratification. S/he does not know how to wait for something (even someone) s/he wants. A spoiled heart can no longer listen to God. That's why it is important for everyone to practice discipline. Delay the gratification a little bit. For when you wait for something (or someone), that something (or someone) becomes more meaningful. It's easy to take something (someone) for granted when you got it just as easy.


change is good. change for the better, that is. let us not be content with just being "okay". we can always work on being better, being the best. everything for God's glory.


people these days do not have this virtue anymore. in a world of fast food, fast wifi, fast everything, people tend to want everything, right now. that's even true with prayers. people want results fast. God's delays are not GOd's denials. Sometimes we just have to wait. God will never give us what's less for us.

taking a deeper look at things/persons

image is a big thing nowadays. we are caught by appearances that we forget to look deeper. we tend to shun what's "ugly", what's "not in" and fall for the "beautiful/cool" ones. we forget that image is just the tip of the iceberg. a person is more than just his/her face. we should dig deeper coz when we do that, me just might find a more beautiful person underneath.


we Pinoys have plenty of this. we always seem to find the positive in whatever negative that comes our way. With hope, we can face the darkness. Miracles do happen.

being a light for others

Jesus is the light of the world. we should also be lights in our own ways. in order to be a light for others, we must be light persons - have a light heart, a light disposition.


the best way to celebrate Christmas is not through the giving of material gifts but of our presence, our love - making our loved ones feel and know that we are there for them.

that's my aguinaldo post for this year.

Merry Christmas to you and your loved ones!

Sunday, December 19, 2010

what i want

ok. it's time to get a bit materialistic. i always end up splurging on my loved ones but never myself. so this year, let me share my list so i'll be able to force myself to at least buy something for myself and cross them off by next week. hahaha

1. a new ipod.
i love my ipod but i seriously need a new one with bigger capacity or maybe even the itouch for a change.

2. a planner.
i love making lists and doodling and while i have my phone to track my appointments and stuff, a planner is and i guess will always be my thing.

3. a new camera
i would just love a new un-bulky point and shoot. dslrs are not for me.

4. a new bag and some shoes
i know, i know. i'm a girl. i love 'em bags and shoes!

5. books
a lot of them! i want box sets and more!

6. clothes
i am a girl. 'nuff said

7. I want to lose weight, so nothing fattening.

8. I want to take a trip with my boys.

9. A Divine Mercy chaplet from Poland would be nice.

10. a new tumbler so i can bring my coffee to school.

on the other hand,

i want time to read my backlogged books

i want to finally have that defense (i know it's my fault for being so lazy but this time i want this to happen already)

i want good health for my family

i want peace of mind

i want happy things to happen to my loved ones

i want world peace =)

Saturday, December 18, 2010

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless—it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable." —

C.S. Lewis

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

a lil rant

december is coming at me sooo fast! it's the 14th already and i feel like everything went by in a blur. we had a lot of stuff going on in school, with exams to boot. i am not even done with my christmas shopping. but it does take my mind off the ugly stuff i've been in. so i dunno whether i should be thankful or stressed about it.

will update soon. christmas wish list next! hahaha

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

oh December! be my friend!

it's the first day of December and i promised myself to be in "christmas mode" starting today. november was such a bitch that all of october's happiness got washed off just-like-that.

i know the month will be a bit stressful - it's christmas time after all - but i can handle stress, please just not the stress i had in november.

so help me pray for a better month, my friends. i hope for a good ending for 2010.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

There is so much about my fate that I cannot control, but other things do fall under the jurisdiction. I can decide how I spend my time, whom I interact with, whom I share my body and life and money and energy with. I can select what I can read and eat and study. I can choose how I’m going to regard unfortunate circumstances in my life-whether I will see them as curses or opportunities. I can choose my words and the tone of voice in which I speak to others. And most of all, I can choose my thoughts.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Sucking the marrow out of life doesn't mean choking on the bone.

I got a surprise! A good friend gave me this, one of my all time favorite movies.

so I watched again (and what a coincidence, the movie's on tv earlier tonight too). i can go on and on about my favorite line but this time, as i watched, this particular conversation hit me:

How can you stand it?

Stand what?

You can go anywhere. You can do
anything. How can you stand being here?

'Cause I love teaching. I don't wanna be
anywhere else.

well said, Mr. Keating. that's exactly how i feel.

Friday, November 12, 2010

what is the price of friendship?
apparently, about 20M (right, my good "friend"?).

just wanna vent. will rant more soon. i need some sleep first.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

godspeed, NU. and thank you

i lighted a candle and cried buckets of tears. this is just so sad.

The last few minutes of NU107. Fans and artists alike bound together by the Home of New Rock came to send the station off.

Chris Cruise: "It's a minute before 12. NU107 is DWNU FM at 107-dot-5 megahertz in Pasig. ONCE the loudest and proudest member of the KBP. This has been NU107, the Philippines' one and only home of NU Rock. We are signing off."

thanks NU for the soundtrack of (and getting me through) my growing years.

23 years that ended with static.

my car stereo feels lost already

Saturday, November 6, 2010

at lunchtime

dad: "you seem to be feeling down lately. why?"

me: "it's my workload this second semester. i.....(yada yada yada...i told him how i felt)"

dad: "i saw your blog post while i checked my email this morning"

me: "well yeah. i was so pissed and i still am"

dad: "oh c'mon! you are the poster child for positivity! your friends see that. your students see that. you can always see the good in everything. and you let this little thing get to you? that's a shame"

me: nom nom nom (can't think of anything else to say)

it amazes me still how my dad can say so little and yet get to me.

so yeah. i will look for the good in this crap.

will get back to you on that. hopefully soon.

What I would have told myself a few years back if I knew I would have listened.

a friend sent me a link to this pic.

just let me vent for a minute. thanks.

so i was just given my work load for this second semester. i love it that i will be handling just one subject - with lecture and laboratory classes to boot! - for the next five months or so BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT ...... i hate my schedule! i get to have 7am classes every freaking day and end at 6pm! plus, my schedule is so broken that i have 2/3/even 4 hour breaks in between! watdapackisdat??

i am so pissed. i mean, why explain the loading system when it just won't be followed?

i asked for some consideration and i got none. and it's not as if i don't deserve it. i do. i fucking do.

this is crap. absolute crap.

so, should i consider bacolod an option now?

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

on packing

we pack a lot because we think of "what might be", "what else might happen" during our trip. in doing so, we fill our bags to the brim (and even incur costly excess baggage fees). but if we just pack enough, we travel light and in doing so have enough space in our bags for new stuff, new things that remind us of wonderful memories/experiences we had along the way.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

This is the underrated ecstasy—and the tragic paradox—of staying alive: I love getting older, because it allows me to remember things I once needed to learn. I feel like I understand music more today than I did yesterday, and yesterday I understand it more than I did two days ago. But yet, I wonder: Does this understanding only serve to signify that this part of my life is supposed to be over? Is “understanding” an emotional, unserious art missing the point entirely? Maybe. But I can’t stop, even if I should. I’ll always be interested in What The Kids Are Listening To, even as that interest becomes the sonic equivalent of looking at animals inside a zoo. I see a zebra, and I know what it is. But you know what I can’t see? How zebras look to a zebra. And that, I realize, is what matters most.

excerpt from “All the Kids are Right,” Eating the Dinosaur by Chuck Klosterman.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

someone told me i've changed

all I could say is that I guess that would be a good thing then, because if I was that same person you met before I guess it shows that I haven’t grown. I know the stuff I do today isn’t what princesskumod a year or two ago would do but let me tell you that I’m responsible enough to know the consequences of my actions and my limits as well :)

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

great find!!


Monday, October 11, 2010

Sunday, October 3, 2010

"If you want to write, if you want to create, you must be the most sublime fool that God ever turned out and sent rambling. You must write every single day of your life. You must read dreadful dumb books and glorious books, and let them wrestle in beautiful fights inside your head, vulgar one moment, brilliant the next. You must lurk in libraries and climb the stacks like ladders to sniff books like perfumes and wear books like hats upon your crazy heads. I wish you a wrestling match with your Creative Muse that will last a lifetime. I wish craziness and foolishness and madness upon you. May you live with hysteria, and out of it make fine stories — science fiction or otherwise. Which finally means, may you be in love every day for the next 20,000 days. And out of that love, remake a world.”

-- Ray Bradbury

Monday, September 13, 2010

“…Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don’t search for the answers which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer…”

-excerpt from “Letters to a Young Poet” by R. M. Rilke

Saturday, September 11, 2010

the EX effect

Exes solicit all kinds of reactions when they see each other.
There's the "ah really, he was here? i didn't see him". And then there's the "please. let's not talk about it." Still, there's also the "did you see who he was with?! did you see what she was wearing?" and let's not forget the "ohmygosh, what was i thinking when i dated him?"

Last night I saw some pics of both my exes (I only had 2 boyfriends) and believe me, I had all sorts of reactions too but I ended up sleeping soundly because I didn't feel bad or sad about my exes anymore.

You see, my breakups were never okay. Unfortunately, my exes did not have the balls to break up with me personally. My initial reaction was to just completely erase everything. You know, like in the movie "eternal sunshine of the spotless mind" (if you, my dear reader, have not seen the movie, go look for it. you won't regret watching it!)

Then the years passed, i got over my broken heart and got to know...they weren't REALLY The Antichrist. We had some good times, too. And with every relationship, I always find that I learn a little bit more about myself. And no matter how awful the breakup was, there is still at least one positive memory to look back on at any given moment. There is still something to be thankful for - for having gone through that relationship.

SO i guess seeing, hearing about, or even smelling (by virtue of other people sporting the same scent) our ex tightens our chest for a bit. No matter how hard you try, the remnants remain. No matter how long ago, no matter how bad the break-up, no matter how traumatic the relationship, no matter how much we deny it, the memories of an ex can never be fully erased.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

I've learned that ......

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

I've learned that it's not what you have in your life, but who you have in your life that counts.

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about 15 minutes. After that, you'd better know something.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do, but to the best you can do.

I've learned that it's not what happens to people that's important. It's what they do about it.

I've learned that no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides.

I've learned that it's a lot easier to react than it is to think.

I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I've learned that you can keep going long after you think you can't.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I've learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I've learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I've learned that learning to forgive takes practice.

I've learned that there are people who love you dearly, but just don't know how to show it.

I've learned that my best friends and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones to help you get back up.

I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I've learned that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance.

I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

I've learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I've learned that no matter how good a friend someone is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I've learned that sometimes when my friends fight, I'm forced to choose sides even when I don't want to.

I've learned that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.

I've learned that sometimes you have to put the individual ahead of their actions.

I've learned that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I've learned that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.
I've learned that your family won't always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren't related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren't biological.

I've learned that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I've learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I've learned that there are many ways of falling and staying in love.

I've learned that no matter the consequences, those who are honest with themselves, get farther in life.

I've learned that many things can be powered by the mind, the trick is self-control.

I've learned that no matter how many friends you have, if you are their pillar, you will feel lonely and lost at the times you need them most.

I've learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.

I've learned that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

I've learned that the paradigm we live in is not all that is offered to us.

I've learned that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon.

I've learned that it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe.

I've learned that writing, as well as talking, can ease emotional pains.


Sunday, September 5, 2010

my heart is tired

This caring business is making me so damn tired. I sometimes wish there's an off switch somewhere so that when it gets too much I can just shut off automatically and go on as if nothing had happened - I can just ignore whatever that was.

I really think it’s possible to love my friends too much.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

“Suicide is not chosen; it happens when pain exceeds resources for coping with pain.”

Nearly a million people worldwide commit suicide each year, with anywhere from 10 million to 20 million suicide attempts annually.

Just last week, a friend became part of that statistics.

I got the text massage this evening. I was having a good day, having fun with friends when my phone beeped and boom! My heart stopped.

As soon as I got home, I read articles about suicide and I just can't find the logic behind taking one's own life. Someone said I should be more understanding or rather I should feel familiar with the event having had 3 friends committing suicide in the past years but I can't. Each friend is unique. Each loss, a different pain.

Dear Sarah, I hope you find the peace you wanted. I will always remember you as a person with a good heart. God bless your soul.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

I am thankful

* for my wonderful tatay
Thank you for always carrying me when I was a kid :-)
Thank you for the cool conversations at random hours!
Thank you for getting me stuff I don't ask for. It's very sweet D-:
Thank you for understanding me a lot.
Thank you for tidying up my room though you know i'll still mess it up.
Thank you for the hugs!
Thank you for not saying "i told you so"
Thank you for the loooooooooooooooooooooooove
And thank you for understanding that there are a million more thank yous, but I can't remember them right now! :-)

*for my cuddlybear brother
Thank you for our dates - movies, concerts, trips, whatevers. Let's keep our memory bank going. WHen I'll be in my 80s, I will always look back on the eraserheads final set concert, the trips we had and the many many memories.
Thank you for always fixing the pc when it gets "alabuton"
Thank you for being the older sibling whenever i have my issues
Thank you for the books/music/movies you introduce me to.
Thank you for the cool conversations and for "getting" me even just by looking
at me.
Thank you for the love. (i know you love me, huya ka lang. hahaha)
Thank you for the laughter.

*for my amazing friends
Old and new alike, thank you for accepting me - flaws and all.

*for my cousins, titas, titos, family
Thank you for keeping the bond strong. We all have our issues but that doesn't stop the love.

*for my students.
I would not have lasted this long in the academe had it not been for you. I learn a new thing everyday from you. It has always been a two-way street and I will forever be thankful for the chance to be a part of your lives.

I am so blessed.

no other birthday gift can compare to the love you all have shown me.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

my childhood

To all the actors, writers, and directors of the following shows...THANK you so much for shaping my childhood! Thanks to you, I wore my Giordano Classics T-shirt,Guess jeans with triangle butt logo, Swatch watch, High-cut rubber shoes, Lace frilled socks, Doc Martens, empire cut dresses and floral headband with much dignity and pride!

Small Wonder

Doogie Howser, MD (before NPH was barney)


The Nanny

The Crystal Maze
Flight of the Navigator
Boy Meets World
The Wonder Years
Mighty Ducks
Home Alone
The Neverending Story
Tabing Ilog

I'm sure I missed a whole darn lot but that's what I can remember so far.

Do add more to my list!!!!!!

Oh my High School life!

My cousin lives in the same subdivision where my family lives. Last night, her kids came over and we watched high school musical on dvd. It brought back so much memories. My high school was not like east side high (where can you find a school where everyone is pretty/handsome and knows how to sing and dance and are all quite good at that?!) but it was my school. Good things and bad things were experienced there. Lifelong friends were made. Lessons were learned.

So what do I miss about high school?

My barkada. There are 10 of us in our high school barkada. We were all girls but later on, we made room for two guys. I think we were the least one-dimensional group. We had different personalities. We had the super maldita girl while I was the super tolerant one. We had the math whiz and the english/literature lover. We had the uber fashionista who can make even katsa glamorous (isdatchugayle?) and the ever present "manang" (we miss you mariles). In our electives, we had our different areas - I was in business class with some friends, there were two in home economics, some in agriculture, and the rest in industrial arts class. Membership to different clubs were varied too. I joined music, some joined arts, others joined the dance club and some were just too happy to be "non-artists" (sila na lang daw papalakpak when we perform.LOL). What we had in common though was the science club and the student council (in third year and fourth year). Yes, we were geeks. And proud of it.

Kainan na! jollibee, mcdo, aristocrat, Lola Maria's, suking tindahan na ginagawang tambayan minsan, 15minute breaktimes na tatakbo sa pinakamalapit na mall at mag grocery ng 'sangkaterbang junkfoods. the word diet was never in our vocabulary!

Kulitan pag class. Syempre di mawawala ang kulitan. We used to tally our teachers' mannerisms, we copied each others' homeworks and sometimes quizzes, my friends have my notebook photocopied kasi tamad silang mag copy, and yes, sometimes we cut classes.

Exams. Our exams days were different. We get mixed with the upper and lower years to minimize cheating. So if I were a sophomore about to take an exam in a room, the person to my right is a freshman, the person to my left is a junior, the person in front is a senior, the person at the back is someone from the other section. It was actually not a good idea coz our ate's and kuya's usually give us the answers and we did the same when we were the ate's and kuya's na.

Intramurals. I was bigger then but i played sports - basketball, badminton, soccer, softball. I had no choice coz there were only a few of us in our batch so when a player is needed, kahit lalampa-lampa lang, go!

Contests. Yung mga practice til the late hours of the night (at naghihintay na ang mga sundo namin), yung mga bloopers on stage, yung mga times when we won and celebrated and times we didn't (and concluded na dinaya kami) and cried our eyes out.

Our Teachers. Just like us, students, our teachers had different personalities. We had the strict one, we had the easy-going one. We had the not-so-handsome straight guy, we had the super gwapo gay guy. We had the plump one, we had the stick thin-like one. Our favorite pastime when we're bored is to tally our teachers mannerisms and compare the numbers after class. I had my favorite teachers - Sir T, Ma'am H, Ma'am N and Ma'am L. Sir T was our science teacher as well as our science club adviser. He handled our chemistry - general, organic and biochemistry classes (our school was a special/advanced subjects type...nerd nga eh). He's the reason why I love chem and why I am in my chem-related field today. Ma'am H was our biology teacher. She was one of the prettiest teachers in school. Ma'am N was our music teacher and our choir conductor. She made me love music even more and she introduced me to the different genres. She's very supportive of our musical endeavors and she pushed us beyond what we thought were our limitations. Lastly, there was Ma'am L. She's our classmate's mom. She handled journalism and was sort of our guidance councilor. She was our mom away from home.

Acquaintance and Christmas Parties. We had our parties in school after which our barkada will continue partying at one of our friends' house (usually kina maj). We were not into going out to party. We were happy just staying home at a friend's house watching movies and doing chika til the next day. Christmas parties were fun. We had our kris kringle but usually we ended up giving each kabarkada a gift or even just a simple token.

Watching movies at the mall. During my high school, we were into The Mighty Ducks craze. I remember that my crush was Fulton Reed and later on I had Joshua Jackson as my object of affection. Other movies worth mentioning were With Honors, Reality Bites, Pet Semetary, The Cutting Edge, at mag-iisip pa ako ng iba.

Prom. I never had a boyfriend in high school and my "date" was my good friend but I always enjoyed prom. It was a reason to get all dolled up. Plus, it was another excuse to have a sleepover at a hotel room or a friend's house.

Writing letters to my friends. kahit katabi/nasa likod/nasa kabilang row ko lang naman sila. I even kept some of these letters.

Science camp/Initiation Night. Another excue to stay with friends overnight. Since science club officers kami, we get to plan this and science camp for us is not just a day but it starts a month before the date kasi nga we had to plan for it pa. The initiation is not that bad naman. It's not the hazing eklat but it did scare some freshies then =)

Crushes. We only had a few boys in school but still there were the cute ones. It was kilig-mode when I see my crush and more so when he talks to me. My major crushes that time were jonathan brandis and brad renfro (both are dead now)

CAT. I applied to be an officer but my parents won't sign my waiver so I ended up as a cadette. Most of my barkada were officers but they never left me and my two other friends off the hook easily. We still got punished (pumping! squat! squat thrust!) and it was funny coz after we get punished we won't talk to our officer friend til the next day (right maj? hahaha)

Field trips. There is only one trip that stands out and it was to represent our school for a science week celebration. It stood out becase the entire barkada was there so it did not feel like school work but lakwatsa. And we even won some contests =)

Mga overnight para sa mga projects (kuno). Nothing could get done coz we usually end up talking or watching our favorite series like Charmed, Seaquest DSV, Dawson's Creek. Locally, I personally loved TGIS (s0 sue me! hahaha!)

Music tripping. The soundtrack of our high school life consists of songs from the eraserheads (mostly!), bon jovi (i promised ez i won't deny this! LOL), bush, collective soul, savage garden (another "hahaha" for this!), backstreet boys and nsync (LOL ulit) better than ezra, salt n’ pepa, big mountain, mr. big, aerosmith, pearl jam, nirvana, sonic youth, red hot chili peppers, smashing pumpkins (1979! yeah!) the verve, gin blossoms, vanessa mae (for me!) among others.

Those are what I miss most about high school.

But what I truly truly miss are my friends. Being with them. Just hanging out doing nothing. Or talking about any topic the whole day…and night. Or listening to the soundtrack of our high school life.

Just being in the moment.

Ikaw, what do you miss about high school?

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

was chatting with a long-lost friend earlier this evening and we were reminiscing about our times in school when he said "Every time i think of those days, i can't help but remember your mom. She was really warm and made us all feel like we were her kids too."

i bawled.
i miss my mother.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010


Not everybody is given the same chance in this life.
Airports make me sad. Departure or arrival - they are the same. I think I have abandonment issues.
I say please and thank you. I expect you to do the same.
I pray the rosary every night.
At elementary, the thought of entering the convent crossed my mind.
I've never been called in the Principal's office. Maybe I should have been.
I never liked clubs or clubbing. I'd rather be sitting somewhere having good conversation.
I stay away from malicious people. I am excellent at tuning out people.
It's not easy for me to make friends.
It rains wherever I get my car washed and shiny. I have a cloud over my head.
I have a younger brother i looooooooooooooooove to bits!
I adore fine things in life. I am also okay without most of them.
My mother is the most glamorous woman I know. My father is the most intelligent man. Now if only I had this winning combination.
I have a problem saying no.
My mistakes are irreparable. So I charge them to experience.
Life is all about coming and going, in and out, with or without, staying or leaving. One cannot build without breaking, or break without building.
How do you shield the ones you love from pain?
My father wanted to name me Augusta. Shit.
I seldom curse. Honest.
I admire gentlemen. I really do. And chivalry is not dead.
I like words like Sir and Ma'am, please and thank you.
I am a loyal friend and I don't get jealous of them. I am always happy for them.
During a difficult time, my friend wrote me: There is nothing that requires undoing, I know that you make sensible decisions for yourself so don't second guess that.
I don't ask for the same favour when I've been refused the first time.
At 14, I wrote my first novel. It was a school project. I realized then I could never write a novel.
I don't apologize for what I am. I get sad for what I have not become.
I am very sad right now.
Ask if you need anything from me. I will not approach. I am terrible at guessing and I am not a mind reader.
What is it about the signs on doors that I never get? I have a problem differentiating push from pull. I also walk into glass doors!
Love and hate are two words I never use unless I mean them.
I absolutely hate retrieving voicemail messages. I also hate paying bills.
I don't respond well to intimidation.
I love mango, avocado, papaya and banana. Apple is evil.
I don't drink milk
Idiosyncracies make one interesting.
I don't forget bad things. They are not repressed. They are controlled.
I like Philosophy.
When I break, I am broken forever. Time does not heal, and the heart does not regenerate. That piece is gone. Time only helps me learn how to live without that piece.
I disappear when hurt. The deeper the wound, the harder for me to crawl out of my shell.
I wish I never stopped playing the violin.
I used to be in a choir.
Books are the only things I want to bring to heaven.
It's nice when people say I'm sweet.
I wish I were proficient enough to spill what is contained in me into stories. Alas, words in abundance is not a gift bestowed on me.
Being out of place is normal for me. I don't pretend I fit in.
I love traveling but I always get seasick/airsick/carsick.
I do pay attention. Everything I see or feel is contained in me.
I'm not sure which hurts the most: when I tell the truth, or talk less or say nothing at all.
I wake up in the middle of the night and feel pain. I feel it in places I can't recognize.
I'm not difficult. Sometimes i can be a pushover.
Everyone has a sliver of superficiality in him/her. I am in denial about this sometimes.
Please do not overestimate my ability to understand.
I have a great sense of humor. No one is required to get it.
I am socially inept. If you are one of those who assume I am snotty, you are 50% correct.
When I walk in a room, I pick up vibes right away.
I am a crybaby.
My favorite holiday is Christmas.
I am neither a trouble maker nor a spoiled girl.
Being spoiled by someone is a privilege I deny to myself.
What is North, South, East, West? I can't read maps!
By the time you finish reading this list, you will have already formed an opinion about me. After all you've known me well enough after reading this post in..what... 5 minutes? In 25 minutes!?! (tsk, you're a slow reader!)
I am a fast reader.

Tell me your secrets.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

a thought lately

when i see people do the things they do, i sometimes stop and wonder if what i'm doing is actually the right thing

Sunday, June 20, 2010

my father, my hero

words are not enough to say how grateful i am for having him in my life.


Monday, May 31, 2010

(that's my mom sitting on the leftmost side)

my mom died 12 years ago and it's still as fresh as fresh can get. i miss her badly.

Friday, March 12, 2010


I have more pics but i'm watching AI results show and am getting pissed coz they let my faves go =(

Friday, March 5, 2010

Saturday, February 27, 2010

i heart Baz Luhrmann

Wear Sunscreen

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth - oh never mind - you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you cant grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you.


Don’t be reckless with other peoples hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.


Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behindthe race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doingthis, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.


Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life; the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. What ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body, use it every way you can don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own..

Dance even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography in lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard.Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.


Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time its 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than its worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

how i feel about valentine's day

*thank you E, for sending me this pic!*

Saturday, February 13, 2010

confession #1

they say life is short, so make the most of it. i wanna do that but i've always put myself off it. there are a lot of things i wanna do but even if i get to doing them, i know i didn't do enough. so now i will admit something i've known for a long time but can't get myself to just say it. i am afraid to move out of my comfort zone. i like where i am now - i have a job that i like and that pays okay, i have my family around me, i have people i can run to just about anytime, anywhere. so yes, that's hard to exchange for a life full of "what if's" somewhere else. sure, i could earn waaaaay more than what i am earning here now, therefore have more funds to save and spoil myself and my family with. i could have job that i love. i could meet more people and broaden my horizon.

on one hand, i really love being in this comfort zone. however, i would love to try something new.

both options present what-ifs.

i need to make a decision soon. i am wasting my time in limbo.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

new word

Main Entry: Kummerspeck
Function: Noun
Etymology: German
1. Literally means “grief bacon” but refers to the excess weight gained from emotional overeating

so now i know!

Saturday, January 30, 2010

i need a break

(photo from bncxe. thanks sir Dimension!)

Thursday, January 28, 2010

realizations lately

1. no matter what promises people make you they dont keep to it in time to come.
2. love only exists to people who have a heart.
3. it really is hard to practice what one preaches.
4. no matter how much you try to trust a guy, he'll surely lie.
4. everyone you care about changes and they will never go back to the way they were so you have to live with it.
5. be strong coz no one is going to be there when you fall.

is this a sign?

a brown moth has been in the house for four days now. no matter how i try to drive it away, it comes back and occupies the same spot every time.
my aunt tells me the moth wants to tell me something. well then, what is it?

help, anyone?
Facebook says I know 500+ people but I am still profoundly lonely.
so many things are happening and yet i cannot see any difference.
i have so much to say and yet my heart isn't into writing them down yet (hence, the pics posts lately)
i should be happy but i can't.

Saturday, January 23, 2010