Saturday, February 27, 2016


I heard mass yesterday. During the homily, the priest talked about lines. Lines that we draw that separate us from others. He said that we draw lines that separate us because of many reasons: our status in life, positions in office, etc. These lines divide and create confusions and problems.

"A line is a collection of points along a straight path that goes on and on in opposite directions. A line has no endpoints."
- Webster Dictionary

I thought about the homily and the lines I draw. The lines I drew. And why I drew them.

 I used not to. I was always the girl who wanted to belong, who wanted to make sure that everyone else do not feel left out. I just wanted everyone to get along.

But that led to hurt, frustration, even heartbreak. I was labeled "ksp". I was called a lot of things, and was made fun of.

So I drew lines. I continued to draw lines. The priest is right. It divides and causes problems. But lines also separate the people that matter from those that don't. Lines protect. Lines make my life a bit clearer. safer.

Do I want to take back the lines I drew? Some, maybe. And some, I would've drawn sooner than later.

Thursday, February 25, 2016


I was in Manila a week ago and was looking for something new to try. So while going around the mall, I chanced by this:

Apparently, Costa is London's number 1 coffee chain. Costa Coffee has over 44 years of experience in handling the combination of Robusta and Arabica coffee beans known as Mocha Italia that keeps customers coming back.


Their prices are quite similar to the other coffee shops in malls, but their sandwiches were a few pesos more expensive. Since I had brunch before my trip to the mall, I wanted coffee.

I wanted to try the flat white, but it was a hot day so I ordered an Ice Shaken Latte. They had this shaker that made the drink cold from top to bottom of the cup, which I appreciated, seeing that other establishments just pour theirs over ice.

And the taste? Delicious!I think, though, that this isn't exactly going to be a favorite of most people since it was not sweet, but it was just the right blend of coffee and milk for me. 

So, would I want to come back to Costa Coffee? definitely. I still want to try their flat white, which I found out to be their best seller, and their sandwiches as well.

Wednesday, February 24, 2016

indulge me

One thing that pisses me off is when I get blamed for things that are not my doing. And today was one of those days.

I feel so out-of-control, and for someone like me who is a control freak (more posts on that soon), I surely felt like this:

I hate it that people can just shrug their shoulders and say "I can't do anything about it" when they can, or "I don't know if I could do that" when they could, or (the best thing i heard today) "I lost it. cant you do it again yourself?" when it is their responsibility.

Accountability. This is a big problem with people these days. So easy to just say they have nothing to it when they caused whatever it is in the first place.

Okay, so I am ranting. I just want to let my frustrations out. And I am pissed.

Bwas naman.

Sunday, February 21, 2016

my 2015

The later part of 2014 had been hard (if not -est) for me. 2015 came in and the first quarter was a continuation of my difficult days. I stewed in the difficult-ness of it all. I was weak. I was miserable. It took a lot of time to pick myself up and piece myself back together. But I did. I still have low points at time but those days were a big learning experience for me.

I want to write a longer post about it so for now I would just like to share my happy days in 2015. Much as the year started out miserably for me, the year turned out alright. 

I am thankful for people who bring me light, who bring me joy. They are my heroes.

I am not the best person to give love advice but i think that in my not so many relationships (count:3), i have gathered enough experience - happy, heartbreaking, and everything in between -  to have a say in relationships.

Anyhoo, I chanced upon a book in my favorite store and this was what I saw:

12 Signs of Unavailable People from “The Ecstasy of Surrender.

1. They are married or in a relationship with someone else.
2. They can’t commit to you or have feared commitment in past relationships.
3. They have one foot on the gas pedal, one foot on the brake.
4. They are emotionally distant, shut down, or can’t deal with conflict.
5. They’re mainly interested in sex, not relating emotionally or spiritually.
6. They are practicing alcoholics, sex addicts, or substance abusers.
7. They prefer long distance relationships, emails, texting, or don’t introduce you to their friends and family.
8. They are elusive, sneaky, frequently working or tired, and may disappear for periods.
9. They are seductive with you but make empty promises—their behavior and words don’t match.
10. They send mixed messages, flirt with others, or don’t give a straight answer—you’re always trying to “de-code” what they really mean.
11. They’re narcissistic, only consider themselves, not your needs.
12. They throw you emotional crumbs or enticing hints of their potential to be loving, then withdraw.

Whoa. A lot of the past came back to me and thinking back now, I see  where I made my mistakes. I think that no matter how hard we try, no matter how much we want - or think we need - someone, some stories just don't have a happy ending.