Facebook says I know 500+ people but I am still profoundly lonely.
so many things are happening and yet i cannot see any difference.
i have so much to say and yet my heart isn't into writing them down yet (hence, the pics posts lately)
i should be happy but i can't.

tubungan church

i wanna go somewhere

sometimes i wonder if my time at work is up. i used to love my job to death and now i feel as if it doesn't love me back anymore.

sometimes i feel that i can't connect with my brother. i don't feel the love. i feel that he intentionally blocks me out of his system. he's supposed to be my ally and yet there are times when i just wanna scream at him to make him pay attention to me.

sometimes i wonder if i made the right decisions throughout these years.

sometimes i wonder if my friends are right about things i thought they're wrong about.

i want to get away. i want to fly away. (yeah, yeah, yeah)

when i see people do the things they do, i sometimes stop and wonder if what i'm doing is actually the right thing

is this for real?

thanks a lot, Mercury retrograde!

the pc crashed. therefore I am sending it, along with all my files (thesis kooooo!!!! leche!). I am praying i can get some files back.

add to that my almost two weeks-long (so far) cough/flu, and the gazillion and one errands I still have to do by weekend, and I am just not a happy camper. 2010, I’m not quite sure this is the proper way to make friends. I’m beginning to think I won’t like you very much.

=(

for 2010

Of course New Year's resolutions don't really work out, just the same I want to try and improve myself each year.

I want to clean my room, lessen the junk. And then I’ll start on the whole house. I am a pack rat and I hope I can get rid of that this year so tatay will be happy happy. Haha.
I want to lessen my procrastinating.
I want to travel more.
I wanna see more plays, maybe even concerts.
I want to read more books. I still have some untouched books and still have a lot that I wanna read.
I wanna write more. I wanna write better.
I want to make new friends and catch up with old ones.
I want to go back to playing the violin.
I want to transfer all my CDs to iTunes. Naku, help me Lord.
I want to take better care of my car.
I want to give up Coke (the regular one) and all sweet drinks and pork.
I want to sleep “on time” and wake up refreshed.
I want to spend less time online.
I want to have more dinner and movie dates with my brother (I hope this is also on his list).
I want to face my fears.
I want to save more, even earn more (a “raket” perhaps?)
I want to do more volunteer work.
I want to eat normal stuff and less junk.
I want to eat more fruits.
I want to start liking (eventually loving) vegetables.
I want to exercise more (this will need a lot of power to do…haha) and eventually get to a healthier weight.
I want to stop buying junk.
I want to find better shoes and clothes and bags.

That said, I will now start my prayers.
I want to be a better person, so help me God.