been busy with the other blogs. and yes, that book, too.


will prolly do another 10-day or 30-day challenge next so i can force myself to write every day. hehehehe

today

"I think you should pray for what your heart desires. Ask God. There is nothing wrong with asking for what you want. It's about time you pray for yourself. " - DK

Earlier, over magnificent tears, I finally prayed for what I was afraid to pray for. I have this tendency, during my quiet time alone with God, to ask for many things.. things I have every confidence in Him to deliver. Healing for friends, what's best for loved ones, protection for family, provision for all, etcetera.

And then when it comes to me, I generally just say things like, “if it’s Your will..” blahblahblah. I never get into specifics and I’ve always known why. I can't bring myself to ask for what I want. I have always had doubts that He will give me the desires of my heart because a part of me (still) doesn’t think I deserve it.

That changed today. Today, I shamelessly wept at His feet and poured out all the contents of my battered mind and my scared worry-ful heart. All that was missing was me beating my chest for emphasis. But I did it. Finally. And it was like someone finally opening a window in an attic that’s forever been kept in the dark. All this mustiness seeped out of me and I could finally breathe.

So it’s out.

I’m now beginning to learn how to pray for myself. That’s a victory in and of itself, yes?

because i'm scared to sleep coz another aftershock might occur....

i watched this...

"...for the first time everything seemed clear to me - like one logical progression. It felt like you and I were the greatest plan ever made and I had nothing to do with it. Being with you made me feel that maybe I didn't have to keep planning anymore because it felt like I was actually living. And that for once in my life I wouldn't have to work so hard at being happy." ~Boy and Girls

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible, isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one person, no different from any other person, wanders into your stupid life…you give them a piece of you. They don’t ask for it. They do something one day like kiss you, or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase like “maybe we should just be friends” or “how very perceptive” turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a body-hurt. A real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. Nothing should be able to do that. Especially not love.”

— Rose Walker, from The Sandman by Neil Gaiman

a gift!

An aunt gave me this book:

I am reading three books right now and i have a looooot of school stuff to do so i'm putting this one on hold.

However, they have a website and this is what I found:

i took a quiz and apparently, this is my love language (hmmmmm....yeah i'm mushy alright, and yes, i have trouble accepting gifts but it doesn't mean that I don't like receiving them, I do!):

Your Scores

6	Words of Affirmation
9	Quality Time
4	Receiving Gifts
5	Acts of Service
6	Physical Touch

I know I will learn stuff from this one but it'll have to wait til I start my summer vacation.

do visit the website at www.5lovelanguages.com

teeeeeeheeeeeeee

When a big change occurs in your life, it forces you to change direction. Sometimes the new path may not be easy, but you can be absolutely certain that there is magnificence for you on the new path. You can absolutely certain that the new path contains things that you could not have experienced otherwise.

When we look back at a negative event that occurred in the past, we often see how that event transformed our life. We see how that event directed us to a life that we would not change for anything.

- Rhonda Byrne, The Secret