"Were not going back, we are moving forward..."

Dear Mama Mary,

When i saw the pic at a friends facebook page, I was reminded of something.

A few years back, i remember this date. It was during lunchtime mass. I was there way early and I was praying, asking you to give me back what I lost.

During the sermon, said those words in the picture and in the title. And so I prayed. I asked you to bring back the loss or else to help me let go.  I asked you to take away the pain that that loss has been giving me. I asked you to give me a reason to finally let go because I want to be ready for something better.

It took a few months until I got the answer I was looking for. And what was special about it was that it was during the Feast of the Immaculate Conception. Dec 8. I met an aunt, who during our conversation, gave me the reason I have been praying for. It was liberating. I then knew I really had to let go of what happened so I could get myself ready for something better.

And ready i did get.

It has been years since that happened and now, once again, on your birthday, I received some answers to questions that have been bugging me for quite some time. grace. blessings.

It's your birthday and through the years, you have always been very generous to me. thank you so much. Thank you for everything. For the blessings - the wonderful surprises that came my way.  And
I am now asking you to intercede for me. I have this one wish - this one thing my heart so desires. I know I am ready for it. We are ready for it.

Please help me. Us.
Please.

Happy birthday Mama Mary!
Love you!

There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment.

hmmmm.......

i know i can be quite paranoid but usually, when i  feel these things, i end up right.

so why do i feel that something is being hidden from me? that i am not getting the entire picture?
that i am not being told everything?

oh please say it aint so

give me strength

It's amazing how just about a week ago - despite things not going my way - I was sooooooooooooooooo happy I could burst and now I am filled with so much fear and sadness.
I don't understand why things like this happen but I have faith the best thing will happen. After all,what I always pray for is the best -whether that includes me or not.

i am tired of smiling and pretending things are ok. it's not. it's scary. the future is starting to get bleak.
i am sooooooooooo scared. so scared.

sometimes all it takes is one message

and then another
and another

bad sad news since this morning

it just tugs at my heartstrings =(

For my girl M: Once upon a time

....there was a really great girl who met a really nice boy. They became great friends and he would call her, bring her out, make her laugh and make her feel really really special. It wasn’t long before she found herself falling for him. Their friendship remained and grew stronger and deeper and from time to time, the girl would question whether he was falling for her too. 
One day, the boy called the girl and told her that he liked another girl — a sort-of popular girl. This broke the girl’s heart but she decided to stick around because she loved the friendship. He’d date then break up, date then break up — but he would always come back to her. She was the one who nursed his broken heart, cushioned the rejection and caught his fall. She was there through all his misgivings and mess ups and failures. He’d give her ice cream and books and nice smiles but never his heart. Or he’d give her his heart but never completely. He steered far away from commitment and real definite love. One day, when she was finally brave enough to do so, she asked the Big Question: “What are we?” And the boy shrugged his shoulders and said: “Well, I like you. There’s definitely something. But I just don’t see it going anywhere.”

Do you see where this is going?

saturday

Do you ever just wanna hug someone so tightly to the point where you have absolutely no intentions of ever letting go because you want them to know just how much they mean to you and how much you love them and you just wanna take away all the bad things in their life and replace them with only good things?