attended my little sister's school activity this morning. it was in my mom's school and i had lots of memories of that place. then i had lunch with a friend. so many things we discussed, so many things she shared. and then i shared some too. well, mostly i shared my fears.  it's scary to want something so bad knowing that i am not the only one involved in that something. tomorrow i'm gonna find out if one of my biggest fears will come to an end. i prayed for it. whatever happens, i'm ready.

 

 

 

 

saturday

saw an old close friend today.

i called his name and said hi, gave him my biggest smile - my hey-it's-been-two-years-since-that-day-we-got-screwed-by-her-and-i-wanna-be-friends-with-you-again smile (with matching wave pa).

he just nodded.
wow. that hurt.

i should have known better than to expect a "hey, wanna have coffee and catch up with each other?/"wanna hang out?". i should have just pretended i didn't see my friend. but then again, i always thought that true friendships can overcome hurts, especially those not caused by either one of the parties.

people can really be hurtful.and no matter how hard i try to not get affected, i can't. i feel the pain. (and those that hurt most are from that person you give your whole heart to)
and sometimes, i wonder if i will stop hurting. if i will get what i want. if things will really really be okay.

 

hoooooooookey ah

happy thought for this stress-full day

 it's that time of the year again to start wrapping gifts!! i haven't started yet but i look forward to it. i can't wait to see my loved ones faces when they open their gifts! wheeee!

too pissed and too tired.

bwas, matapos ko gd ni ang gusto ko ipost.

people. reasons.

had a difficult troubled weekend and this was posted on my wall by a very good friend earlier this afternoon. i was having a mini-breakdown when he saw me online and we started talking. he's telling me how i changed his life  and though i am flattered, i am not taking credit for it. we talked for quite some time and then i decided to take the post off my wall coz it made me cry.

i've been crying a lot these days...no, months. i've never cried so much and i know it's because i also have never wanted anything so much in my life. it's too near yet too far.

anyhoo, driving back home, i thought about the people i met and just met and re-met. i can guess the reasons why i met some of them but somehow i can't see why others are in my life or have been in my life. and then there are a  very select few who i am sure of why they were sent my way.

when i got home, i looked through my albums. i see these people. some left. some outgrew our friendship. others i didn't see for a long time came back. a few stuck til this day.
and one who i never thought could be the reason why i can't wait for my life's chapter to change soon.

people. reasons.
the universe really works in mysterious ways.


 

...because I spent my weekend being sick

  "It's not enough to believe!" Sadie's voice is suddenly passionate, almost savage. "Don't you see that, you stupid girl?  You could spend your whole life hoping and believing! If a love affair is one-sided, then it's only ever a question, never an answer. You can't live your life waiting for an answer."

-----

- loooooooooooooooooong sigh -

please tell me the hoping and believing are not in vain. that everything will be put in their rightful places soon-est. hambal gani ni annie lennox sa iya kanta (nga gnakanta mo man kg pirme gatukar sa balay) "i don't wanna wait in vain for you love"