2012

“You must remember, family is often born of blood, but it doesn't depend on blood. Nor is it exclusive of friendship. Family members can be your best friends, you know. And best friends, whether or not they are related to you, can be your family.” 

― Trenton Lee Stewart, The Mysterious Benedict Society

FAMILY.

that's the word i can most relate my 2012 with.

i love my biological one but this year had me figure out who really count.

“Strangers are just family you have yet to come to know.” 

― Mitch Albom

it's amazing how strangers have become my close friends and how, in just a short while, i have become "family" to some of them. i am thankful for people who have accepted me as family despite some circumstances. truly, their love is something i will be forever grateful for.

“There will be times when I will say and do things to/for you that you will not like, more so, hate. That is what it means to be family.” 

i heard this a lot this year - from my dad, from relatives, from close friends - and i understand why hurtful things need to be said. to be done. and yes, it's heartbreaking at times and at my low points, i tend to question myself, but i understand them and they understand me and my stubbornness.

i know things will fall into their proper places. i have faith in that happening. soon.

"The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life."

family. i have my biological one and i have the people i've decided to keep in my life. there are not so many of them but they sure made my 2012 amazing.

 

one year

i can clearly remember things and conversations that happened a year ago and i am amazed at how much a lot has changed. 

perceptions. 

opinions. 

feelings. 

i am amazed at how people have changed 

i am amazed at how much I have changed despite still having my fears and worries.

it's crazy. really.

today

I woke up with this:

"We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude. Good morning ma'am! I thank God for sending you to our lives. Merry Christmas!" - sms from a student


I took much time thinking about this year. Myself. Everything that led me here. That led me to the NOW. Suddenly, things are not as arbitrary as they once seemed. I’m not saying the loose ends have been tied up or that the story has been resolved. I know that’s not how this thing, life, works. But there are details that make better sense now in light of where we’re standing.

2012 was a constant up and down of things, and as I looked back, I realized that there was plenty to be grateful for.

2012 is a year of

family. it's very rare we can get together complete. this year, we were able to do that a lot of times.

the chance to help others, and sharing this chance to help with my students and friends. this will will always be a part of my every year.

"firsts" in our University. and hopefully, more to follow in 2013

travel and new experiences. i know i will always want more of this.

weddings. i attended quite a lot this year.

babies!!!!!

 

 2012 brought me more often to the hospital and to the ER, too

 

...but it made me realize that no matter how busy i can get, i need to look after my well-being too

 2012 was for quality time with my near and dear.

 

Most of all, in 2012, there was an abundance of good people. People, who, without them, I would not be able to accomplish the many things our department was credited for. People who helped me get through all the difficulties i encountered. and people who shared with me my happy moments.

This gratitude list barely even scratches the surface, but as we go on through this day, may we always see how plenty there really is to be grateful for.

Smile. Let's rock the last days of 2012.

Merry Christmas!!!

these past days have been quite difficult.
expectations, indeed, can break one's heart.

i am set on being christmas-y the next days. this is my favorite season and this season isn't about me in the first place.

It was much too fast to really notice but not fast enough to not see.

I promised myself I will just finish my exams and make sure I change my mindset. Christmas is in the air and i just feel so un-jolly. Everything's getting blurry. and hurtful. and disappointing. and frustrating. and i feel so scared. it's just sad.

I need to get out of this rut.

i'm just tired of getting hurt, taken for granted and all that shiz