Day 14: A dream for the future

For my family and friends:
I hope my family will always be comfortable
I hope my brother have a great life
I hope that my tatay live long
I hope that they will always be healthy and happy

For my career:
I hope I have indeed made a difference in my students' lives
I hope to become successful in my field
I hope to have my own business one day

For my personal life:
I hope to have a great married life when the time comes.
I hope to become a good mother.
I hope to always be healthy
I hope to be happy

Those are what I can think of at this moment.

Christmas 2011

December, for me, means longer and colder nights and mugs of Swiss Miss or native chocolate with marshmallows on top. It means Christmas lights everywhere and a tree that my gay friends and I get to decorate. It means waking up really early for nine days and going to mass feeling cold, and yes, sometimes sleepy too. It means a sudden increase of people in malls. It means good food around every corner. It’s the month when family members and friends go home and we spend time catching up, laughing, just hanging out having a good time.

For most of us, it’s the month when we can shake off the worst of things and look forward with renewed confidence. It’s the tiny light at the end of a long year, a season to hope again.

And for all those things and more, I welcome December with open arms.

A lot of my friends tell me that I am the hardest person to buy gifts for. Although, quite honestly, when it comes to gifts, I’m easy — too easily pleased by almost anything. (just no mugs, please. hahahah)

But, to make things less complicated for anyone who plans on getting me something, here it is:

MY 2011 CHRISTMAS WISH LIST:

1. Words

I have been maintaining this blog since 2008. It should be obvious, at this point, that words matter to me. Words make a difference, words are beautiful. As much as I love spewing my verbal diarrhea here, I also love receiving words from people. I love letters and e-mails. I love handwritten letters. I think it's sweet, at this time and age, if people take time out of their busy, modern world, just to write something for someone.

Unfortunately, snail mail in my country is not so good (to say the least) — I usually receive things months later or never at all. So if you’d like to make my Christmas extra special, you can e-mail me at kinumod@gmail.com

2. Time

I want more time with the people I love. Not just time, but QUALITY time.

3. Direction

I still feel lost. I think I know what I want to do next year but it still scares me and I keep doubting whether it will be the right thing for me. Can someone point me to where I should be?

4. Love

I want this love to last. I've never wanted anything so much.

5. Progress.

you know what I mean.

So, there. That sums up my Christmas wish list for 2011. How about you? What are you hoping to receive this Christmas?

Day 13 A song that makes you cry

i have quite a few


i cried tonight when i heard this while we were having dinner and drinks. even my brother was shocked.

also, his new song "right next to you". i know it features justin bieber but it's a very nice song. never fails to make my heart ache.


"and i've never been so sure of anything in my life.....when God made you, he must have been thinking about me."


"...and with this vow forever has now begun....without you in my life, i just wouldn't be living at all..." - this song just played in the radio while i was driving home. i bawled.

also,"something like you" by nsync. (listening to it right now. lyrics tugging at my heartstrings)
"...something keeps telling me you must be my answered prayer....with you by my side, i can do anything....something magical, something stronger than the two of us alone...i can't believe that something like you could happen to me..."

i still have some more but let's just leave it at these, for now.


goodnight, friends!

Day 12: What’s an inside joke you have with someone?

inner piece! inner piece!

either.

let's just leave them at that =)

Day 11: Two months ago, where were you and what were you doing?

october 1 was very special.
i took a risk, a leap of faith.
i made a big decision.

i decided to allow myself to be happy.
i still am.
i wanna stay this way.

always and only, for love

"why aren't you married yet? go look for someone who has money so you can live your live more than just comfortably"

i have heard that a lot of times already.

I’m watching The Game of Thrones series where women are traded like cheap goods. One day you are betrothed to a man who dies unexpectedly, the next you are simply given to his brother. You have no choice. Marriages were political decisions. Today we are largely free, so to hear someone say they would marry for money seems like such a travesty of our freedom. Would you really give that much of yourself for material security? What is security anyway and how secure are you in somebody else’s wealth?

There are so many layers to this statement. I don’t think many men would marry women who would tell them they’re mostly in it for the money, so already there’s a layer of deception. Next, any woman who decides to marry for security is, of her own volition, guaranteeing a life of emptiness and disappointment. Money alone will not make a life. How can any woman sign her life away or, for that matter, take someone else’s life for granted? Unless your spouse-to-be knows your true agenda, aren’t you robbing him of the possibility of a marriage borne out of love? Doesn’t everyone deserve that?

I realize I don’t fully understand what marriage is; I feel that most of us don’t. But what I do know is that marrying for anything but love goes against our humanity. I don’t think we’re there yet and most of us continue to marry foolishly. Still, I would rather marry foolishly but with love. Money may bring all kinds of comfort, but love is not among them.

and me? I could have married for convenience a few years back, but it was just not right. it would be unfair to him. or me. even to our families.

I used to feel lost but I've come to a point where I saw someone who I can share my future with. I know who I love. I know who I want to share my life with. I know who I want to marry. I can only wish/hope and pray I'll get there.

So....marry if you must, but always and only, for love.