let me rant

i was out for just a day and this is what i come back to? i just wanted some time off. i never paid attention to the messages i got coz they were "generic" and i had something important to do, somewhere important to go to. and you do this? how dare you! you do not do this to my council. you do not threaten my students (ako lang makathreaten sa ila. hahaha).
be thankful i came from a happy occasion before i got to the meeting. otherwise, i could have bitten your heads off. i know what you did during your term. i was your adviser, remember? i was there for you. always. and you repay me by doing this to your successor? for what? kickback from some friggin' tshirts? bullshit.
do not, even for just a minute, think that you can do this behind my back. i always know.nothing gets by me. that's how much my students love me.
stay away, ass-wipes. i mean it.
you do not mess with me or my kids.

HJNTIY

Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you, he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, every story we're told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe... it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is... just... moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope.

(looooooooooooooooooooooooong sigh)

yesterday

somehow it made me sad to realize that i only go to guimaras when i need to.

that needs to change.

tonight

it was around 1055 when cle and gra barged at my door, asking to take them to get some balut. i really didn't want to go coz my allergy's acting up and i have an appointment at 830 today (it's past 12 already) but after much convincing ("tata, mabalik na kami sa states in two days. hidlawanay naman ta ni. lakat na ta. cge na....tito rex hu....indi kami pag updan!), i hauled by sorry ass and drove them to get some balut.

but noooo....they had a different agenda.
cle: "wala pa ko bla nakapa-Luna's kahilidlaw man ila arroz caldo ba"
gra: "ti, lakat nlang ta bla. ari na man lang ta sa gwa. cge na ta...go. derechuha na lang"

and i was like...."haaaaaaaaaaay,,,indi manami!!"

so.....we got this...


the two know me so well so they got me this while they ate their arroz caldo.


after which i invited them to drop by the adoration chapel to say a lil prayer and light some candles


soon after (around 1230), we drove home and ate...

i was only able to finish one. each of them had three.THREE!!! manol much? hahahaha

so now it's 125am. they just went home leaving me here, trying to finish my nagsasa post. but somehow, i can't finish it. i am tired from my 5-hr straight lecture (10hrs at work in all) and i need to wake up early for that appointment.

good mornight, world!!!!

dear cake

I am so sorry I wasn't able to talk to you sooner. I went out of town and where I went, there was no cell service.
I know you are hurting right now. It is always hard to lose someone special, especially when after all you've been through, you realized that you were the only one loving sincerely. I've been there. It hurt so much.
But over time, the pain will lessen and then you'll be ready for love again.
Now let me share with you SOME traits of what would make a perfect man for me.
Look for someone who is also your best friend. Someone who you can have both serious and silly conversations with. Someone who will laugh WITH you and not AT you. Someone who shares some (surely not ALL) common interests with you. Someone you can agree to disagree with. Someone who you can even get drunk with. Someone you can share comfortable silence with. Someone who will hold you gently when you both sleep. Someone, who, when he holds your hand, you'll know everything will be fine. You'll know you'll never be alone.
I know those are difficult to find but but I believe you will get to know who that person is when the time is right. You will be led to him, and him, you.
As a wise man who reads this blog (let's call him tata vnoi. hahaha) told me yesterday: "maybe he took a wrong turn (in hiligaynon, "basi nagtalang lang sya"). maybe he took a turn and enjoyed a different scenery first. but he will come and he'll realize that the best scenery is with you".
I believe in second chances. So should you. You are a good person and you deserve better. The best, actually.
I'm here for you, ok? Never feel alone. ayan o, marami kaming nagmamahal sa 'yo.



((powerhuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuug))

Love,
Ate

PS
Believe. Don’t settle. And in the meantime: become the person that the person you’re looking for is looking for.

so i went back to nagsasa and dropped by capones and anawangin

my maniniyot

his niyots


my view
iphone cam works good, too

have so much to write about. and a pending letter for my lil sister cake.

may 31

may 31 is the date my mom died. it's a day after my dad's birthday.

she died 13 years ago.

a lot of times i wonder what she would say about the things in my life - my relationships, my career, my decisions. everything. more often than not, i second guess myself because i fear that she might not like the decisions i made/make. i still have a lot of my "lost" moments and sometimes i wish that she'd appear in front of me, telling me the answer.

i know that had she not died, i wouldn't really be where i am now but as with what my dad said "your mom always tells you that everything happens for a reason. she left us for a reason but she will always be in us. in our hearts. listen to your heart and you will hear her. you will find her there. everything will be alright. after all, you are truly her daughter".

i miss you, nanay. never a day goes by that i don't think about you. thank you for 18 wonderful years together.

(my boys)