dear tata vinoi,
you were right. i would not have liked you had we spent this much time while we were in college. we were much too different, then. somehow, in a span of 8(?) years, we went through similar shiz (similar lang ha...not same...i can see you rolling your eyeballs na naman). funny how time changes everything and everyone.
so we really didn't have memories then, but we can always make up for that right? aug 8, 2011 pa man expiration date naton. we still have about a month and a half. =D
i will never get tired of telling you how proud i am of the tawo you have become now. you grew up fast and you did it away from all of us. that must have been difficult. (i can imagine you rolling your eyes, saying "it was not"...ok ok. but i know you get what i mean). you had some blunders but they were all in the past. they were all done and over with. the future is still ahead of you so make use of the present to get to that very bright shining shimmering future.
things may not have turned out perfect but trust that everything will be okay soooooooooon. i believe it will. you have to believe in that too. you have two wonderful boys who love and will forever love you no matter what. you are their dad, period. and you are a great, responsible dad. you have sacrificed a lot already (and still doing so) and i am sure they will understand everything in time.
i wish you more success and i am certain you'll have that but please do not take your health for granted. take some rest. sleeeeeeeeeeeep. eat well. and drink lots of water. i wish you good health. i wish you'd listen more. i wish you'd stop it with that 50yr-old crap and the "we're wired that way" bs (you can always do something about it). i wish you'd sometimes stop rationalizing everything because i know how hard and mentally/emotionally tiring that can be. we have to stop looking through rose-colored (in your case color blinded) glasses. sometimes we have to stop making excuses for every little thing and just face the truth. feel the pain. we cannot move forward if we're stuck in the past, making excuses so we can stay in our "comfort zone", so that we can stay away from being afraid of what may come next. you may be broken but you are not meant to stay that way. you are loved. by so many. love yourself too (i can imagine you again giving a rebuttal..oh shut up! this is MY blog. ahahaha). i have faith in you. detour lang ni, noi. i have faith you'll be able to get on that see-saw again in time. no swings. no monkey bars. no slides. no pcs. just that damn see-saw. a second chance at everything right. you deserve that.
i cannot wish for you to be a better dad because you already are the best dad these two boys can ever have.
(ang tatay nga taga mitsubishi)and nothing or no one can ever take that away from you.
oh, and this is my favorite pic of you and toto.
stay strong noi. we already talked about a lot of things. you do not deserve the shitness. if i could take them away, i would. but i can't. ball's in your court now. make a decision and stick to it. act on it. you can't just sit idly and let life pass you by. you deserve to be happier/more contented. you know what i want for you. and from you. you promised me you'll work on it. in turn, i promised to trust you and your decisions. so don't you ever make me regret that promise lest you want your head to roll (insert evil laugh here).
you deserve the right kind of love. you deserve all the best because you are a good person. a wonderful one, in fact. YOU ARE. don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
happy father's day bf! *wink* hahaha
((huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuug))
lovelove much,
tata =)
and happy fathers' day to the other great men in your family
manong mark (wala gid kamo ya kinalis! i am glad i took that trip to nagsasa last month. manong, ka-cute sang kids mo. i wanna pinch the baby! can i? can i? hahaha)manong ralph (nga indi pa kami friends. hehehehe)
and syempre
tatay ramon (gnshare mo na si nanay reg, pati si tatay sakop eh!)i will always be praying for you. you can expect that lit candle every single day. thank you gid, noi. thank you is an understatement for a lot of....a looooooooooot.
so c'mon, let's join us, rainbow brite!
nan!!! ikaw na nagtudlo sa akon mag-inom pirme. hwahahahaha XD(still finishing that nagsasa post but i can't pa gid ya. dammit)
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