Read
Tatay and nanay read a lot. They would take my brother and I to bookstores, ask us which books we'd like to read and buy them for us. I started with the obligatory fairy tales and moved on to Nancy Drew, The Hardy Boys, Choose your Own Adventure and of course, the classics. Nanay, being the religious one, also introduced me to the lives of saints. I remember days when it would just be us, at home, having a book each and sharing comfortable silence, engrossed in our readings. Reading introduced me to worlds I didn’t have access to, or didn’t even know existed.
Laugh. Be funny.
My dad looks serious enough but he is one funny guy. I always admire his ability to make other people comfortable by cracking his trademark jokes.
I believe every person should possess a sense of humor. Life is too long to be taken too seriously. Funny’s a personality, a charm and, when life knocks you down, it’s a saving grace.
He also told me to look for a man who can make me laugh. One who gets my jokes, my sarcasm, my hirits. One who shares my brand of humor.
Be respectful.
Being polite will never hurt. It will never be out of style. People may not remember your name but they will forever remember how good you made them feel. People may be rude at you but it will be better to talk it out rather than smack each other off the floor.
Hard work and patience
My tatay was a farm boy. He grew up with six other siblings and so money was hard for them. He worked his ass off so he can go to school and he did. He even finished two courses and some units in law. It took him quite some time but he always reminded us that "patience is a virtue" and it is one virtue he's glad he has.
You own your feelings.
Many times in life, your happiness or sadness has already been decided…by you, by your attitude, and by your expectation of what is and what will be. To hear someone say, “just decide to be happy each day and you will be” sounds too simple, but there is power behind the words of people that say those sort of things. The truth is, if you aren't actively working to fix whatever bothers you about your life right now...then on some level you actually like it or else you'd be doing something entirely different. "that's just the way it is" is not an excuse, because you know what, it only is if you believe it to be.
My tatay, after a breakup, told me this "you're hurt. cry it out. let it all out. then decide to stand up and move on. Do not allow yourself to wallow in self-pity and sadness. You own your feelings. Quit feeling sad and sorry and start moving your way to happiness".
It was difficult, but i know that had it not been for him telling me that, i wouldn't have moved on from that godawful breakup.
Don’t be scared of bugs, spiders, lizards, and all those goddarn insects.
Our house is an old house so we get our share of critters. There's this thing that when a gecko falls on you, it will stick to you forever. And we have some bigger than normal spiders too. My tatay would give me a lesson on the food chain by saying, “You should be thankful that there are lizards and spiders because they eat mosquitoes!” Then he'll add "look at its size and YOUR size. it should be scared of you and not otherwise!"
Share your blessings
When you share your blessings with others, it comes back tenfold, even more. Money isn't everything. It might get you fancy stuff but it will never buy you real love or happiness.
Make memories
Five, ten, twenty years from now, you will still talk about these experiences and no amount of money can ever replace how you felt at THAT moment.
Choose your friends but be a good friend to everyone.
Never tolerate bullshit when it comes to people in your life. Be picky when it comes to a person's loyalty to you. How, when you are down, they would be the first one you would run to and the last one to let you go. Be picky when it comes to people who are unequivocally for you, not because of what you do, but because you are.
Never question your greatness.
I grew up with some insecurities and there are so many things that I am not but my tatay has never made me feel as if I wasn’t enough. My dad believes that I am great. Whether I fly or fail, I know that dad will be the rock that tells me that I am beautiful, special and brilliant. I feel that i have no choice but to believe i really am that - beautiful, special, brilliant.
Find a man who will be your best friend, partner, lover.I remember one very rare moment, a few days after my "breakup-breakup" that i saw my tatay browsing the net at his office in BJMP and he called me and made me read this (i copied and pasted it and emailed to myself):
"I just don’t want you to want Love so bad that you fall in love with the idea of Love and forget one of the essentials to great Love…and that is finding the right person (for you).
It is true that you can make a person your conduit to Love, but they may not be the one that will sacrifice a part of them for a part of you. And I know, no person wants to hear the word sacrifice and love in the same sentence and these people that despise those words are (later) the most frustrated over it because they think that love just works somehow, minus sweat?
Giving a part of you for a part of them isn’t an either/or proposition and to gloss over the ‘work’ part, which is vital to the long-term viability of your relationship, is to say sewing and reaping only works on the farm, when the truth is, that concept applies to every part of your life especially your relationship(s) with other people."
Smile
It does not hurt to smile. Strangers may have a terrible day but when you smile at them, it might take some of the negativity away.
I’m always, always thankful that there is such a thing as love, and that my tatay has never shown me anything but that.
happy father's day tatay! i will always be your lil girl bisan gnapahalin mo na ko di. hahaha =)
No comments:
Post a Comment